about her

frozen memories.

2007-03-04T17:24:00.000+08:00

i can't sleep. everything i ever knew is a lie, without you.
i can't breathe. when my heart is broke in two, there's no beat, without you.
you're not gone, but you're not here.
is that the way it seems tonight?
if we could try to end these wars, i know that we can make it right.
how can i leave, when everything that i adore, and everything i'm living for,
boy, it's in you.
i can't dream. sleepless nights have got me bad.
the only dream i ever had, is being with you.
i know that we can make it right, it's gonna take a little time.
lets not leave ourselves with no way out, lets not cross that line.
this loneliness that's in my heart, won't let me be apart from you.
i don't wanna have to try, boy, to live without you in my life, so, i'm hoping we can start tonight.
remember that i made a vow, that i would never let you go.
i meant it then, i mean it now.
and i want to tell you so.

*new blog, ask ME for url.

so, bring me in from the cold with your love.

2007-02-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

i have a dozen of homework to be completed this weekend, ahh die die die. :( the past week had been very good and very bad at the same time. all to the extreme ends. anyways, chinese new year was da bomb ! :D i got to see the cousins again and we caught up through gambling, hahaha pretty dumb but yeah no doubt it was fun. i've lost and i've won, no big hoo-has over that. then, i met up with the lovely girlfriends on the second night of cny, supposedly to celebrate eunice's birthday, but they ended up celebrating in the club ! ohwells. but yes my love, i still love you very much although i wasn't there with you, haha and i'll give you your present soon ! i know you had a very sexaye seventeenth. ;D
the third day of new year, we all went over to grace's place. haha it was awesome, we played bridge and there was an interesting story-telling session. mmhmm, then we watched "stay alive" and it was hell gruesome ! afterwhich i met up with the cutest crow on earth for prata hahaha. :) we had a nice talk near the fountain at my place, no doubt it was a beautiful night and i'm glad you were there with me. love you love you love you !
school was even more hectic than last week. wednesday we had training all the way at the hockey village. it was super far and and we didnt really have much fun. did suicide run which was almost close to suicidal haha.
and thursday was the worst day ever. we had something like detention cos we didn't hand in our work. had to copy notes 5 times and my hands never hurt so much before. and we all went back at around six plus.
yeah friday was good, cos training was cancelled ! :D haha so weilin, seow wei and i went shopping ! but it wasnt really successful, we only managed to get accessories. then we ended up eating at billy bombers which was so good cos i haven had that for real long.
and i'm so dead, i haven start on any of my homework yet. haha i shall start tmr, hope i'll be able to complete though, and pass my math test on monday? okay, sounds a bit impossible but i shall try, haha !
and to all the anons out there, i just wanna say that i don't give a shit about what you think of me, my character, my actions or whatever. cos it's so obtrusive that your intelligence level is wayy down there and i'm a million times smarter than you morons? i'm sorry but i don't talk to stupid people. erm, have fun entertaining yourselves. :)

i see you standing there by the door,
i get the feeling that we've been here before.
watching emotions like runaway trains,
we shouldn't miss again.

paint my love.

2007-02-16T20:05:00.000+08:00

this week passed by incredibly fast. it was pretty hectic, ccas, tests and gazillion of other stuff.

on monday, i took half a day off to go settle some stuff but erm sad to say, it was a major disppointment.

tuesday, i skipped ballet (ah sadness) and went for lunch with mommy. then i went home and completed my jae, which i had thought through a million times and made sure i would never ever regret my choices. BUT sad to say, i'm totally regretting and i dont know what to do. all i can do is pray super hard that cj will take me in again. please please please.

wednesday was valentine's day. i was so happy when i stepped inside the class cos there were so many chocolates, cookies and notes, etc on my table ! :D :D :D heh. yeah then we had stupid econs test which i didn't study, ahh, i hope i don't fail it too badly. :( mm, then my nice nice nice emo buddy did the dedication thingy on the screen yayy ! :) and we took retarded pics in class haha. like the ah LiAnZ pOsEz HAHAHA. but im not gonna post all the ten poses cos it's really super retarded. but i'll post some. :) yeap then the afternoon was spent in class playing truth or truth, which was super funny and then we had training in the late afternoon. i completely lost my stamina, died after 5 rounds, haha sucks please. then we played matches against each other under the scorching sun before slacking in the gym. i just sat down and cycled like half an hour away, it was so shiok i tell you, i can go on for like 5 hours, hahaha! after training, went for dinner with cj people. everywhere was super packed so we only managed to have dinner at round nine plus ten. it was really fun though. :D

mmhmm, thursday was slack, i managed to pon pe lesson haha so i ended up listening to my ipod with weilin and half doing geog. presentation for geog was super easy cos our question had very limited information. freaked out at first because there was really nothing much to say, but turns out it was meant to be like that. haha ! then i met leemay for lunch and we had an awesome time bitching and planning hoho ! gwen joined us during her break before heading back to work. i went home after that cos of CURFEW, goshhh.

yeap and friday, today was a halfday ! :) had two lectures before watching the performance at the auditorium. i had so much fun with the classmates today. :D and the performance emanates this really heart-warming and family feeling. i almost cried when i realised i might not be able to stay in cj. gosh, why am i so stupid for not putting cj as first choice ! :(

part of the song:

wo ai ni, cjc

just like lao shu ai da mi

aww, doesn't really convey much, but no doubt, i love cjc.

yeahh, and grace and alicia crashed cj today ! naughty naughty haha. we went for lunch at madjacks together with jasmine, xavier, mark, ian, xinru, xinya, randall, shane, daniel, shaoren etc. afterwhich we went over to mark's place to play cards. then i went home for reunion dinner. yes skipped physical training today. :X ohwells, we're gonna play on the pitch tmr, hoho, pretty exciting. :D

yes now im really dead beat, going off after posting pics ! tahhh.

it's every little thing you say,

that makes me wanna feel this way.

there's not a thing that I can point to

cause it's every little thing you do.

I'll give the strength that you need.

2007-02-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

a futile shopping attempt with the ladies today. damn. we ended up chatting at the ever-freezing subway for quite awhile, before heading over to cine's cafe cartel. to sum it all, i enjoyed myself very much today. thank you dears, you girls are the best. <3

it's so hard to find,

to leave the pain behind.

when all the things you're looking for,

your heart can't seem to find.

serenade the mooonlight.

2007-02-10T12:31:00.000+08:00

A big fat disappointment.
what ever happened to goals and aims and all those bullshit? i admit, i have only myself to blame for the state i'm in now, for the results that i've received. it's not that bad i know, but it's what others expect of me that i'm bitter about. i've failed every single soul out there, especially my tutor. it was a major disapointment for her cos i couldn't even secure an A1 for that subject, that particular subject that i used to top, excelled, loved. i knew i'll only managed an A2 right after the paper, cos of some stupid mistakes i made. it's not that i did not know how to do, more like i didn't read the question properly. thats the worst thing ever. i'd rather be dumb, cos at least that way, i know i did my best. but no, i just didn't put in all my effort and hundred percent concentration in doing the paper. maybe i was too complacent. whats new.
and i've failed myself terribly. i was expecting something better. now it feels like someone just thrown me down from the hundredth storey suddenly. it's just so painful and shocking. this is not what i want at all. but after i asked myself did i really work hard for what i wanted? my answer is no, i didn't. so i guess i have no right to complain or sulk. and besides there's really no point regretting now. whats done cannot be undone. i'm still sad nonetheless, but what can i do? just pray that i'll at least learn something from this.
i'm out of here, and no, i'm not gonna cry anymore.

i get so lonely in this crowd.
i want to scream but make no sound.
and yeah, i'm lost.
but maybe i'll be fine.

like a star that guides a ship across the ocean.

2007-02-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

tomorrow's D-day. i'm so scared right now. actually i've been freaking out since the last paper. i have no idea how well or bad i'm gonna do cos i really do not want to think about it. the more i think, the more i feel like crying. i have zero confidence and hundred percent of uncertainty. afterall, my future depends on tomorrow, that insidious slip of white paper. and besides feeling scared, there's anxiety as well. of course i'll want to know my results but at the same time, i'm not sure if it'll be anything i want to see. and if this is bad enough, i'm feeling worse, cos there's no one for me to share this with. at least, not anymore. okay i think i'm just being emo and stupid, i'll get over this, i will i will. hopefully. ahhh yes, good luck to all who're collecting results tomorrow !

anyways, on a much lighter note, we went for class lunch today ! :D that probably was the only thing that made my day. so much joy and laughter, 1t08, i'm gonna miss you guys like crazy. we went for sake buffet at heeren. sushi was so good, i haven had that for so long. but yeah, was super bloated towards the end. and mister tan joined us ! :D hahaha, i swear he's the coolest teacher ever. oh, 1t08, you all know why. ;) shhhh, it's a secret.

after the long lunch, some went home while the rest of us went to play pool. or rather, we all went to "chewww" (chill) like what yui wing always says hahaha. and i was just sitting down and watching them play haha cos i so do not want to embarrass myself. haven touched pool for like two years ! :/ how bad is that man. and i found out that that pool place is such a great place to stone and people-watch. haha.

mm, i left slightly earlier than the rest cos i was so so tired, physically and emotionally drained. yeah i know i did nothing, can't explain why i'm feeling like that too. maybe it'll be better tomorrow. or much worse. okay, of course i hope for the former. -crosses fingers-

there's nowhere to go from here.
standing here cold and shaken,
how did I lose my way,
on this long lonely road that I've taken.

lips of an angel.

2007-02-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

cos i love thy bitches like that.

if only you could read what's on my mind,

see right through my eyes.

all or nothing.

2007-02-02T21:36:00.000+08:00

i forgot to blog that, yesterday was world's emo-bimbo day. :D
peace, everyone.
yess, today started off bad. first, i was almost late for school and secondly, we had chem test and it was a bitch. i was stuck at like the first page which was mcqs, hahaha. it was so demoralising cos i felt really stupid. i mean, mcqs, hello? in addition, the tables were so low, my neck actually ached when i was doing the paper. major discomfort. and all i have to say is, i'm gonna fail. ahahaha. everyone says so, so i don't feel as dumb, yayy. :)
k then seow wei, weilin and i went to madjacks to have lunch before training. we were so comfy there, we didn't even want to go back for training. they played this really psychotic flim, haha but nonetheless it was quite intriguing and interesting. then, there's this little girl from ij bukit timah, who came up to us and chatted with us. she was adorable, the way she spoke. can't believe she is only nine this year. how fast kids mature nowadays, tsk.
anyways, then we reluctantly dragged ourselves back to school for training. coach made us run eight rounds today. :/ haha, but the guys went really slowly, so the first seven rounds were a breeze. until the last round, they all went mad and sprinted, goshh i almost died. i gave up sprinting halfway cos my stitches were hurting so bad, so i jogged back. then after that we had short matches with each other. thank god, we didn't have to run again after that. :D
overall, this week passed by rather quickly. we're most probably getting back our results next week. omg, i'm really really scared. :( and i shall not think bout it. more like, i do not dare to think about it.
right now, i just found out some disgusting facts bout someone, but apparently, no one's online for me to rant to ! ahhhhh, im exploding, soon.

he's a mystery.

i'll stop the world and melt with you.

2007-01-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

i'm currently taking a break from doing work, haha. okay fine, attempts of doing work.

anyways, i met up with emy, alicia, noelle and iain just yesterday for dinner at nydc. gosh, it had been so long since all of us met up! it was really nice just reminiscing bout old times and talking bout the present and the future. i guess this is the kind of feeling only old friends can give you. it's really an intangible but amazing feeling. it's like time stopped moving just for us kinda thing. really really had a good laugh and great time with them all. :D

yess, now im coming to the sad part. emy ong's leaving tomorrow morning ! :( i'm so so so sad, cos she'll only be back in december. how long is that !

anyhow, here's a really short shoutout just for you sweets;

it's been six years of awesome ass-kicking friendship. we've been through almost everything. you've always been there for me at my highest and my lowest and i can't tell you how grateful i'm for that. we've laughed together, cried together, bitched together, scream together, got into trouble together, every moment spent with you was enjoyable, even if it was just stoning around and doing nothing in town. i can't put into words how much you really mean to me and how much i love you. but one thing's for sure is that, i know we'll still be the best of friends twenty years down the road. that, is my promise to you. and promises aren't meant to be broken. :)

oh yes dear, please remember that we have to keep to THE diet, heh. meanwhile i'll be counting down to the day you'll be back again. i'll miss you. and please do study hard and not party so much ! haha. love you love you love you love you love you muahhh ! :D

xoxo

2007-01-28T21:18:00.000+08:00

presenting the best boxing match ever...

HAHAHA, enjoyy. : D

Until the end of time.

2007-01-28T11:22:00.000+08:00

surprise surprise surprise. i came home in the wee hours of the night yesterday but i actually woke up at an unearthy 9am. whoaa, looks like the sun can rise from the west sometimes.
anyways, yesterday i kept myself busy eating ben and jerry's ice cream and listening to emo songs the entire afternoon. then i headed out to city hall to meet eunice and derek in the evening. we waited for grace for two freaking plus hours, stuffing ourselves with food (not me, them) to pass time. we bumped into germaine and timchow coincidentally. i finally saw my pretty god-daughter after eons ! :D yeah we chatted and all then headed down to the train station to meet grace. afterwhich we cabbed to ken's chalet at east coast.
yess, of course, happy eighteenth, ken. :D the birthday boy was all red by the time we reached, but still sober nonetheless. kudos to his amazing holding prowess. we kept ourselves entertained with the melodramatic scene of this drunk girl. it was very very interesting, never seen anything like that, but sort of felt really sorry for her. it wasn't exactly a very pleasant sight afterall. sad story behind her actions.
mm, yeah then we had some bbq food, thanks to mister jeric wong, the chef for the first half of the night, haha. then we got really bored, so we went up to the room and found ourselves cards to play. coolshit, started with indian poka (haha!) then we went on to four stars. had alot of fun, we kept squealing and laughing and of course, drinking. more food accompanied us, marshmallows (yumm), (dried) crabsticks, chicken wings, sausages etc !
i left slightly after one, cabbed home and went to bed. and now im here, gonna head out soon though. and i just remembered, i've a chem test coming up, and i haven even browse through my stupid notes yet. no time no time.
i'm slowly regaining back my life, slowly adapting, slowly getting used to everything again. i've never liked changes, but some things are really beyond my control. really, if i have a choice, i'll still choose to go back. what to do, dreams can't become reality afterall.
and i'm learning to let you go.

i can't feel any magic inside tonight,
cause i can't reach out for the stars.

My heart is heavy, heavy like a rock.

2007-01-25T17:57:00.000+08:00

i just saw something that i shouldn't have seen. shouldn't at all. it fucking sucks to see that. it so woke me up from my stupid, naive thoughts. yeah it fucking hurts too, and i feel so dense omg. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
anyways, on a lighter note, school so totally rock. i mean minus the lectures, tutorials, work, pe and trainings. hahaha, i meant company ! :) yeahhhhhh. weilin and seow wei has been such sweeties, we always seem to have fun, even during torturous hockey trainings hahaha. :D thanks so much. <3
ohoh today was really funny. laoshi made seow wei and i tell a chinese story to the entire class. we have to rotate kinda thing. so today it's our turn. and if we have nothing to say, then we'll have to stand for the entire tutorial ! so we crapped up some story. and it's goldilocks(?!) and the three bears haha. it was really dumb, i was so embarrassed and the whole class was laughing. but laoshi said that the story has a deep meaning behind? i know he was being sarcastic but it was so so hilarious i couldn't stop laughing haha ! omg and tmr i have a math test and some gp test !!! i'm so scared but im not doing anything about it haha. i wanna meet up with bestie soooooon. but our schedules clash. how sucky. :(

what hurts the most, was being so close.

one in a million.

2007-01-21T19:48:00.000+08:00

i don't know why i'm here, im supposed to be doing homework and stuff but i just plopped myself down infront of the comp the minute i reached home. great, i have alot to do and i only started on one question of geog last night. it was a flop by the way, i was laughing at my answers. but anyways thats not my point. actually i wanted to continue with my half-typed entry bout finale night and all the catching up i did the past week, but i sort of lost the urge to blog bout them, so i figured i'll just delete it and blog bout something else.
i don't know what to say anymore, this past few weeks have been really really bad. i've been keeping my true feelings inside and tried to put on a brave front but now it's so so so not working anymore. yesterday i really felt like crying i dont know why. it wasn't a big deal to begin with, but all the emotions just keeps piling up on me, so whenever little things happen when i'm alone, i just feel super emo cos i just hate the feeling of being alone. plus the fact that i love emo songs just makes it worse. and then i'll start thinking about alot of things, not that i have no problems to begin with. i'm already so worried and stressed out bout school work, the stupid O's results, hockey trials and heaps of other stuff. the last things i would want to bother me are friendship problems and problems regarding affairs of the heart.
i'm trying so hard to solve everything but i feel so tiny and helpless i don't even know where and how to begin. sometimes i just pray that a miracle would happen and take all these problems away. you don't know how much i wish that everything would be back to how it used to be. i seriously hate my life now it's like so empty and it feels so meaningless. and i really don't understand how other people's minds work. it's just so complicating. each time i try to figure out, i just can't. then i'll be stuck with all these penned up emotions and feel like breaking down again.
why can't i be a little stronger dammit?

it's times like these that i wish i were back in secondary school.

because i can never say goodbye.

Broken hearts and concrete floors.

2007-01-07T16:06:00.000+08:00

2007 has been alright so far, although it started off pretty bad. i've got a sore throat right smack on the first day of the new year. :( boohoo. must be due to all those alcohol and screamings at countdown.
anyways, so yes, i went to orientation at CJC with my stupid husky (and disgusting) voice. ice breakers were a bitch, i had to literally shout and i could feel my throat splitting. gees.
the people in my IG are very very nice i must say. but there wasn't really any connection though hahaha. i mean, maybe we just all belong to different worlds.
orientation's gonna last for six six sixxxxxx days ! it's good and bad at the same time. good cos we dont have to start lectures that soon and bad cos it means getting down and dirrrrtyyyy ! but i'm kinda looking forward to dragon boating and etc. it sounds kind of fun. hate to stay at the campus, the sight of the GST ( Grand Stand Torture) just send chills down my spine. eeeeewww.
aha, so the first week past by quite slowly. three days of school felt like a week. omg omg omg 6 more weeks till we get back our results. i'm soooooo freaking out already. yeah slap myself for not working hard enough. all i had on my mind was party party and more parties. and when december came, i hardly partied. haha ! this is the joke of the centuary. hey i miss saying that. used to say that to michelle all the time haha ! yeah i miss IJ ! :( and JBMY, the bimbos and everyone. thats why i say, i hate changes. ahh, REUNION PLEASE?
mm, but i can't wait for school tomorow though. we'll be in our classes yayy yayy yayy ! i hope my class will be cool. and i've gotta go find out the dates for trials ! that is if, that diana remembered to help me sign up on friday. okay, hope she did. (crosses fingers)
and i'm so so so sorry, can't post any pics cos stupid eunice chye hasn't upload them yet ! glares glares glares. haha, i'll personally scold her tmr, i think we'll be in the same class oh yayy. :)
okay i think this entry is super duper long soooooo i shall go off now and continue rotting at home. btw, my dad grounded me boooooo. i think it's only for today though haha ! this is dumb but whatever. and i'm gonna trick him to get me a new nano sooooon. muahahha. i'm in the midst of planning. :D
and right now, i'm hooked onto this super emo song charm sent me last night, which originated from michelle hahaha. nice nice nice, i loveeeeee emo songs. :)

in this endless summer, we will be together.
and I don't want this feeling to ever end.
looking back in november,
feel the sun and remember that when our time has finally come to pass,
some things last.
some things always last.

2006-12-31T12:05:00.000+08:00

I Love this boy. :)

tis the season to be jolly.

2006-12-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone ! :)
i can't believe christmas's gonna be over in three minutes time. haha. it's so ironic how i used to look forward to christmas since the start of the year but when it's finally here, it just seemed like a normal day, nothing extraordinary. at first i thought it's just me, but turn out most of my friends think so too. then again, maybe it's just us.
anyways, so yes yesterday i caught midnight sun before going for midnight mass. haha the movie was super gooood ! it's a must watch. and mass was rather boring, i don't know why. i seemed to have lost all the connection. with everyone. yeah so we left halfway, and stoned outside church. then we went to town and almost got sprayed by the immature and annoying random people on the streets. boo them !
after which was the usual prata and playground time with my favourite boy.
and today i woke up at an amazing 4pm ! hahaha. then i went for family dinner at pizza hut. came home super full and bloated.
mm, no pictures this christmas ! sadness. alright, i wanna go off now. maybe i'll post random pictures soon. laterrrrrrrr.

I won't ask for much this Christmas.
I won't even wish for snow.
I'm just gonna keep on waiting,
underneath the mistletoe.

all i want for christmas is you.

Love will find its way.

2006-12-20T13:34:00.000+08:00

i still went for vintage last night despite the heavy downpour and my reluctance-to-party-mood. kudos to those who called incessantly during my unsucessful afternoon nap. and my very brilliant god daughter who persuaded me to go but she herself ended up not going. i so feel like killing her. haha but ohwells, i love you too much to do that. :D
i met eunice, celine and soonleng first and went over to soonleng's house. the three of them bathed and changed while i tried very hard to sleep. they kept tickling me. :(
we stayed there for about two hours before soonleng's mommy decided to be very nice and sent us to town. we had dinner at subway before cabbing to attica. and we waited for the cab for like half an hour. stupid rain. yesss we had to walk in the rain for a short distance.
the party wasn't very bad, but attica wasn't how nice i thought it would be. so there was a little disappointment here and there. and we didn't get to drink ! :( ken got super wasted though and ended up sitting and squatting on the dancefloor a gazillion times. hahaha. and then we were wondering where was the darn camera ! dammit we dropped our bags off. so too bad no interesting pictures for view. hahaha.
anyways i left with derek at around 3am cos both of us have annoying parents who want us home EARLY. :( yeap, thanks for sending me home.
and today i woke up at 12 noon? thats quite early. ahahah. i just realised i have no plans today. so im gonna call emy soon. maybe we can go catch a movieeeee. we've been dying to. and im like lazy to post pics. so yeah. later.

and i miss you like fuck.

When you move like that, it's hard to breathe.
I never thought that it could be like this,
but I was wrong.

2006-12-19T10:02:00.000+08:00

It's two o'clock, my heart is breaking.
We need to talk.

No matter how hard i try,
A love like that keeps pushing me inside.
But after all that has been said and done, you're gonna be the only one. i wish that you were near me now and get tangled heart to heart.
i never felt a love like this before.
you're the one i adore.
come to me cause love won't wait.
make up your mind, it's not too late.
sweet words of love i gave to you,
let yourself go cause i'm feeling blue.
in my mind, you were always near. but where do we go from here?
so tell me now can there ever be anyone else for you but me.
no other love can take your place or match the beauty of your face.
i need to hold you in my arms. you trapped me in, don't wanna waste my time.
please help me ease my mind.
just like a plant needs water, love needs a heart to survive, i hope that sooner or later, you'll realise.

puzzle of my heart.

2006-12-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

Flow was awesome. :) especially the company ! mm, anyways, we had heaps of fun. i'm too lazy to elaborate, so let the pictures speak.
:)

CELINEEEE ! chye, celine, and i ! <3
EMYYYY. :D

US! <3

yes, he was drunk. hahaha.

:) :) :)

derek !
soon leng !
mmhmm, then celine stayed over ! :) it was pretty sucky at first cos we had to leave very early due to my stupid curfew. but it was really fun with celineeee. :D we talked alot and then fell asleep after awhile heh.
and i'm so sorry eunice chye ! i didn't manage to pick up your call this morning, thus i missed saying my last goodbye to you ! :( ahhh guess i'll see you in a week's time? haha, hope you're having fun in thailand now, i love you ! :)
yes so celine and i went to town after we woke up and we had lunch at pasta mania cos she was craving for pasta since last night. hahaha, celineeeee sooooo spastic ! :) then we walked around and went to park mall to pass derek something, then shortly after, i went off to meet pretty boy ! :)
we had dinner at lido then we went over to cine and rented dvd to watch. the room was so uncomfortable, and the movie (pretty persuasion) we watched was damn sick. but i guess it was enjoyable after all. mm, then we went home after that.
yesssss and i just packed my stuff for hongkong. can't believe i'm leaving tomorrow, hahaha. i'll miss everyone ! especially celine, eunice, mabel, emy, charmaine, bbf, and and and of course, pretty boyyyyy ! :D
alright, till then, all of you have fun and party hard ! i'll be back in six days time. countdown alright ! <3

All day long, I can hear people talking out loud.
But when you hold me near,
you drown out the crowd.

Maybe all we need is just a little Faith.

2006-12-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

oh goshh. i just came back from rehearsal. it was sooooo frigging satisfying ! although i screwed up the first try out, but the last rehearsal was great, no blunders ! :D and i can't believe i actually thought of skipping it? i had my reasons planned out: mild food poisioning. HAHA. ohwells at least i went in the end ! totally missed the whole performing feeling. and omgg i missed the holding room like fuck. it reminded me of IJ Heartbeat last year ! we had soooo much fun in the small enclosed area. okayyy, i'm like missing IJ already, and Rgym (especially the seniors). i can't wait for DJT reunion, it's been a yearrrr, i wonder how has everyone been?
alright anyways the ACS Barker Concert was really goood last night ! although relatively few people turned up, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. i didn't know all my friends were such brilliant actor/actresses? hahaha. an eye-opener indeed. go derek, go grace, go eunice, go angieeee ! haha aiight, here are some pics ! :)

SHANEEEEEEEEE !

CHYEEEEEE, my favourite bimbo ! <3 angie and derek ! (main leads)

anyways, we left like halfway during the concert. and my very awesome best best friend abandoned me halfway during the concert ! haha what kind of best friend is this? but it's okay jon, i still love you. haha. :) and yes thank you for listening to me this afternoon. i really appreciate it. you're the bestest best best friend one can ever have ! :) and charm too for calling me the moment you woke up ! haha thanks alot. i love you too, mwahhhh. :) mmhmm so we went up to look for the crew after we got out of the theatre. it was freezing insideeee. and grace was so cute? she was so punkishhh hahaha. how adorable ! :D
mmm, then i went to meet stupid boy for prata ! and we ended up far away from civilisation, like ahem, whose fault i wonder. haha kidding. it was cool nonetheless. and i finally played the swing for the first time after agazillion years. hahhhhhh. :D

Looking at your picture from when we first met,
you gave me a smile that I could never forget.
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night.

Zebra's the new black.

2006-11-20T20:53:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA, today's entry title is dedicated especially to miss mabel lee may. :) oh, you know why, missy ! ;) hahaha.
O's is finally overrrrrrr ! IT'S PARTYYYYY TIMEEEEEE. :)
but i don't think we can really party in peace? haha but whatever, i guess i'll just take one step at a time. sounds pretty calm? but trust me, my heart's beating a hundred times per second, i'm sooooo terrified of getting back the results.
on a lighter note, we had an awesome time shopping in town, laughing till our cheeks hurt and bitching over lunch and dinner. i miss doing all that, and finally, we have all the time in the world to do all those again ! :)
mm, mabel and i planned alot of outfits to wear, i think it should be sufficient to last us till the last day of 2006! hahaha.
i was so excited to blog just now but suddenly i just feel so lazy haha sooooo i shall go off now and bum in bed. but before i go off, here's something for everyone !

HAHAHA, yeahh laugh all you want, but i like it like that. :)
I LOVE YOU MABEL LEE MAY.

But forever was just a word, something I'd only heard about.
But now you're always there for me,
when you say forever, I believe.

2006-11-15T17:43:00.000+08:00

If only I could run away.
i'll never come back.

2006-10-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH, MICHELLE ! : )
I Love Youu ! : )

PS. i'm so sorry there's no cake or anything. we'll make it up to you after O's okay? promise ! : ) and hope you like the bear ! <3

why don't we hit restart and pause it at our favourite parts.

2006-10-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

omgg i haven mug at all this week, how bad is this. anyways, went to AC and SA open house yesterday ! we decided to give CJ a miss at the last minute haha. everyone's so motivated to go AC now ! : ) mm, even all those pro-SA people. (except for michelle who's still the avid SA fan) we had a very fufilling lunch at Billy Bombers ! had the same old milkshake and cheesefries and potato salad. : ) it was super gooood. heh.
and today, i went for tuition. miss clio lin got her facts wrong and missed tuition today ! : ( but gwen and i still went nonetheless. and my shoe broke like halfway when i was walking haha. but it wasnt very bad. just a teeny weeny bit !
mm, then i met saaaamueeeel in town after tuition ! we caught You, Me, and Dupree. it was so retarded. (just like samuel) haha had a good laugh in the cinema ! it was freezing and my ribena was tasteless. : ( we managed to smuggle in his subway! haha pro right pro right? :D but we almost got caught cos the uncle kept looking at me. but turns out he asked if i was sixteen yet. like hello, do i not look sixteen? hahaha. okay, don't answer.
yupp walked around after the movie and then we went to Holland V for dinner. the bus was super packed. everyone kept pushing, i almost died on the way there. mmhm, we had dinner at Breeko's. chatted for awhile before heading home ! we were so tired ahaha.
and there's lesson tomorrow ! oh mann, i better go get some rest now. toodles !

It's so unbelievable and I don't wanna let it go.
It's something so beautiful, flowing down like a waterfall.

All I need is the rhythm divine. Lost in the music, your heart will be mine.

2006-10-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Miss Yip says that I'm one of the most placid students she's ever had. hahaha. nice.
I got caught for skipping chem lesson today ! but I didn't mean to skip it, it's open house, why can't they understand? things were really bad, everyone just ran out of class as soon as English ended and like only two people turned up for chem. I'll be the third if there's no open house today. : ) haha, like seriously, I would.
soooo, I was really late cos English ended an hour later than the presumed time. mm we went to RJ first. felt kinda weird cos everyone was in school uniform except us ! bumped into brenda and co at the canteen and we chatted for a bit before proceeding to HC. oh and we've decided to go to RJ if we get six points for O's. I hope we dooooooo ! :D
gwen and clio left first so only vann, michelle and I went to HC. we were so tired so we cabbed there haha. and and and I bumped into ying there ! looking pretty as usual. mmhmm, then we walked around for awhile until we couldn't take it anymore and took a bus to town to EAT. we were all famished. ate at subway again ! we came to a conclusion that, out with vann=eating at subway, haha coolshit. :D
mm then we roamed around for awhile before heading home. and there's AC and SA's open house tomorrow. I can't wait, it's gonna be good. : )

If you could know what I'm feeling,
would you run and where would you go?
If you want to know what I'm thinking,
then just turn on the lights and you'll know.

My soul's like a wheel that's turning.

2006-09-27T21:41:00.000+08:00

we had farewell mass today. it was rather disappointing cos no one cried. can you believe that? well, at least only this teacher teared. which was rather cute (no pun intended). i think it just kinda make everyone seems so cold-blooded. like hello? ten years? its as if we all contracted STML (short term memory loss) or something. so it all went on pretty well, they blessed and freed the birds (again) which was really a beautiful sight. except that maybe the birds were really dumb cos they couldn't seem to fly their way out of the school. and some flew so low which made almost everyone shrieked and filled the entire hall with clamours of voices which was quite displeasing to the ear. you know how sharp some girls' voices can get. haha. after the mass ended, they played the video which featured all the graduating classes. i didn't like it at all. i thought it was rather sloppy. but i understand that they only had four days to do it? so yeah, i shall look forward to my class's. i hope it'll be able to evoke fond memories of our class and IJ, and leave our faces damp. yayy, everyone should just cry their hearts out, it's the last year afterall. i mean i'm not planning to fail o's and come back. hahahha. (even though i really like IJ )
alright enought of that. lessons were really slack today. we had alot of free periods and i just spent them ranting and bitching. how productive.
anyways, i went to town with yuling, gwen and michelle after school. we had lunch at Kobayashi ! after which we proceeded to do some quick shopping and then off to the cinema for John Tucker must die. haha, it was a really goood movie, John Tucker's steaming hot. :D heh. mm, went home after the movieeee.
and tomorrow's D-day, cos we'll be able to aggregate our points. ah, dread it dread it dread it ! so right now i shall go immerse myself in slumberland and continue dreading the arrival of tomorrow. hahaha.

Through the fire,
to the limit, to the wall.
For a chance to be with you,
I'd gladly risk it all.

It's the Playboy Bunny yo !

2006-09-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
EWWWWW NOOOOO !
sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
THE PREVIOUS ONE LOOKS BETTER
sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
HAHAHHA
sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
EDIT SOMEMORE !
sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
IM SURE YOU'LL SUCCEED
sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
HAHAHAHHAHA
j on o ng. : ) says:
HAHAHAHHA
j on o ng. : ) says:
YESYESS
j on o ng. : ) says:
IM SURE ILL SUCCEED TOO
j on o ng. : ) says:
SOME DAYY!!
j on o ng. : ) says:
WISH ME LUCKK!!
j on o ng. : ) says:
HAVE FAITHH!!
j on o ng. : ) says:
youu might wanan blog about me again
j on o ng. : ) says:
im like really interestingg : )

tsk, he's sooo not shy. HAHAHA. aiight, here's gayy jonny boyy's masterpiece, everyone ! enjoy ! : )

P.S. i know it's rather hideous, but just bear with it. hahaha, okay kidding! you know we all love jon's playboy bunnyyyyy. : )

You're my Heart-Shaped Star.

2006-09-20T22:46:00.000+08:00

the evil prelims are finally over yo ! : ) <-- (yes jon, gay smilies rock our socks ! :D )
anyways, i went to meet my favourite fated (alliteration hahaha) in town after the paper. we had Billy Bombers for lunch. awesomeeee. : ) it was so filling, we had to sit down for a really long time before getting up and move. haha.
mm, basically, we just roamed around town. i was so sad topshop didn't have my size for the ring i like ! : ( and they told me it's sold out ! ahhh, uttering depressing. then we went looking for prom dresses, but nothing to our liking ! i think i should just give prom a miss. (haha right.)
we cam-whored in topshop hehhhh, i shall upload the pics laterrr. then went home after that.
and omgg, there's school tomorrow. but then again, it's gonna be quite interesting cos we're gonna have NJC talk and some careers talk thingy. hopefully it'll turn out to be helpful ! and i'm gonna be a good girl by not skipping school tomorrow and on friday. hahaha. yayy me ! : )
alright, i'm so sickk of blogging, i shall go off now.

oh but before i go, here's what i promised my goood goood friend(hahaha) :
sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
IM GONNA BLOG BOUT YOUUUUU
sugar, spice, and everything nice. says:
HAHAHHAHAHA.
j on o ng. says:
OMGG
j on o ng. says:
DONTT
j on o ng. says:
IM TOOO GAYY
j on o ng. says:
((:
j on o ng. says:
ITS A CRIME
j on o ng. says:
TO BLOG ABOUT MEE
j on o ng. says:
NEEDA PAY MONEY YOU KNOWW

hahhaha, stupid gayyy jonnnnyyyy boyyyy. : )
alright then, goodnight world.

It's just so great
I think it's fate that I have found you.
and you've shown me through past heartbreaks & loving fakes.

2006-09-17T01:12:00.000+08:00

You're so gorgeous. But oh, such timing I've been waiting, but I'm declining. If I had a way to be everything you own, I would climb away from here to never let you go.
You're so perfect, but I'm so tired. I've been waiting, but so uninspired. I could be everything you need. I could be your every day. Maybe fools would never suffer through, I'll leave it up to you. If I, had a way to be everything you own, I would climb away from here to never let you go. Give me a way to be everything, everything. I would climb away from here to never let you go.

It's such a shame, we're worlds apart.

2006-09-16T01:13:00.000+08:00

Prelims was a disaster. i dread collecting my results now and i dread the postings to the colleges. and i regret not mugging hard enough. ohwells, whats done cannot be undone. O's O's O's ! thats my priority now. oh but theres still amath paper next week. ahhhh, what a spoiler.
anyways, it's my mommy's birthday today ! Happy Birthday Mommy, I Love You. :)
we went to Vienna's for dinner. very late dinner. had plenty of oysters hoho, and like a dozen cheesecake and chocolate fondue. i'm so going on a diet tomorrow hahaha. anyways i camwhored with little Rachel while waiting for my mom to pick us up. she's so adorable (at times).

day after day, time passed away.
and I just can't get you out of my mind.
nobody knows, I hide it inside.
I keep on searching but I can't find,
the courage to show to letting you know,
I've never felt love like this before.

You threw the life line, just in the nick of time.

2006-09-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

i can't believe it's thursday already. our prelims are in three days time ! and i'm so not prepared for it. sigh.
well, this week has been good for some reasons. :) haha, although i did little mugging, but i've been in high spirits hoho. and yes i'm gonna start freaking out from this moment onwards because i'm running running running out of time ! history's evil i swear. i just can't seem to get any facts into my head, saaad case it seems.
anyways, i went mugging with charm today. we were planning to study at esplanade library, but it was sooo packed when we got there and like people were actually studying sprawled on the cold and hard concrete floor?! haha, yeah so we left the place and went to billy bombers at marina square ! we did a bit of history then we left cos it was seriously freezing in there. but it's a rather nice place to mug cos they played oldies and has a relatively large table.
mmhmm, next we went to the coolio New York restaurant supposedly for dinner but then we just walked out of it again cos apparently "the food wasn't to our liking", quotes charm. hahahha. yes so we walked to suntec and has dinner at our favourite NYDC. we were supposed to study there too but somehow we just lost the urge to and we ended up chatting and then walking around aimlessly. suntec's a bad place to shop cos like there's hardly any decent shops except guess and topshop. i think it's a better place to dine, haha. anyways, so we got really bored and drowsy so we left and went home.
we got stuck on this train for like soooo long cos the previous train ran into some technical difficulties and so we got implicated as well. what a day ! anyhow i went to meet mommy after that to trim my fringe. uh it's pretty alright, i have no grudge bout it just that it's a lil short.
omgg and paul's like out of idol? how sad ! i thought he could make it to the last three. ohwells. alright im so tired (and depressed, haha) now and there's tuition tomorrow. so goodnight world.

One, you're like a dream come true,
Two, just wanna be with you.
Three, boy it's plain to see,
that you're the only one for me.
and Four, repeat steps one to three,
Five, make you fall in love with me,
if ever I believe my work is done,
then I'll start back at one.

Wipe the blood off your lips. With the kiss, I taste the goodbye.

2006-09-02T20:57:00.000+08:00

Krunk was alright last night. I realise we can never party from 6 to 6. it's just insane, haha. but well, it was definitely an experience of a lifetime, dancing on muddy grassland. i will NEVER ever go to such parties again. it was so disgusting. my slippers turned from grey to brown, tell me how bad it was ! haha.
anyways, everyone was late last night, so like i didn't get to shop at the flea market, boohoo. :( the flesh parade was coolshit, with all the eyecandies, woohoo ! and yes, GO IJ ! :)
everyone was so shagged last night. they all slept on the concrete floor, how unglam haha. i was the only awake one? and we waited from like 4am to 7am for the bus shuttle service to harbourfront.
then, grace, mabel, tandi, chye, huiyun and i went to macs for breakfast. after eating, went to chye's apartment to clean ourselves up haha cos our feet were super dirty from the muddy grass. then we went to town, yes at 9 am in the morning when everyone was still sleeping at home. and no, we're not nutcases. haha, wanted to get tics for frostbite at Cine, but they didn't have morning movies, so we went to the Grand Cathay instead.
don't ever go there without a cardigan or jacket, cos you'll just freeze yourself to death haha. we were all freezing and freaked out in the cinema, don't even try to imagine the scenerio. the movie was callous and gruesome, i can't believe why i even wanted to watch it so badly. haha, bad choice, bad choice. but it was entertaining and funny and some points. no im not being wry here cos the movie really has a wicked sense of humour haha. but if you really can't stand the sight of blood and flesh-eating scenes, then this flick's definitely not your cup of tea hah. aiight nuff said. :)
alright, so i came home at one plus in the afternoon and i was planning to take a short nap and head to church at 5. but no, i overslept and woke up at 8 ! :( i feel so guilty, and i swear i really didn't hear my phone ring, and i set my alarm at the wrong time, so it didn't ring haha. ohwells. i'll go next week then, i hope God forgives me. :( haha.

so many things to say and
I'll put them in a letter.
thought it might be easier,
the words might come out better.

hearts won't be glowing.

2006-08-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

hello everyone, Charmaine Yeo that TWIT, insists i come here and blog about my stupid error hahaha. so here we go :

baby you re on the brink says:
hahaha
baby you re on the brink says:
omg la
my london, london bridge wanna go down. says:
HAHA NO? PEOPLES LEAVING ! YOU SHOULD MESSAGE, VON BOYAGE !
my london, london bridge wanna go down. says:
EHH WRONG
my london, london bridge wanna go down. says:
HAHAHAHHA !
my london, london bridge wanna go down. says:
BON VOYAGE
my london, london bridge wanna go down. says:
HAHAHHAHA !
my london, london bridge wanna go down. says:
OMGGGGGGGG
baby you re on the brink says:
HAHAHHAHA
baby you re on the brink says:
twit
baby you re on the brink says:
GO BLOG ABOUT IT
baby you re on the brink says:
VON BOYAGE!
baby you re on the brink says:
GOOO!
baby you re on the brink says:
hahahaha

haha, don't ask why, i have no idea why i said that too. haha. but then again, can youu spot the error? HAHA.

how come when you come around,
my london, london bridge wanna go down?

and these fingertips are moving faster than these lips. so you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is.

2006-08-28T20:18:00.000+08:00

I'm all drained out right now. :(
by the way, we had social studies and emath paper 1 this morning. and BOTH papers sucked like hell? it was so so so bad ! we had ss first. i totally screwed up my source base, like i didn't even understand the stupid cartoon. and it was so vague, i can hardly see what they drew? surely, the school should have used or produced some clearer picture to ease our eyesight, especially since we are under such tremendous stress already. okay, maybe i should stop blaming the school for their not so obtrusive use of political cartoons, which can result to us flunking the darn ss paper. (okay shut up jeaa, shut up.) anyways, i did Northern Ireland for the SEQ, and it turned out pretty alright except that i ran out of time and so i didn't finish the last part of the second essay. oh joy to the world, i hope for world peace. amen?
after the papers, it aroused a controversy regarding the source base questions and i have a bad feeling that i'm not gonna do so well for my paper after hearing gwen's magnificent INFERENCE. God, I think I just lack that darn skill. :(
and during the short break that we had, most of us were panicking and talking about how we'll ALL just probably end up in CJC afterall. i just hate to admit this imminent fact. so i had this really puny ray of hope that maybe, perhaps, i'll still stand a chance to change my horrible fate. BUT, after doing the emath paper 1, my hopes were dashed and crashed and shattered into pieces. (sorry, i just have to add the melodramatic effect HAH) some of the questions were so unexpected and totally flummoxed me. and when we checked answers with each other after the paper, i have high doubts about securing my A1. and like my teacher said that paper 2's definitely gonna be tougher. hey who would have thought that Emath would be so so so challenging? guess we were too confident or rather, i was. no actually, i was just too woried about ss, but whatever, i screwed both of them up anyways ! :(
and i think it was really my lucky day today cos like when i reached the train station, i realised that i forgot to bring my EZ link card? and i had to ring my mom up to pick me from TPY. oh and like i forgot to bring my mathematical set today so like 5 minutes before my math paper, vann had to run down to the bookshop with me to get a new set, and guess what? i didn't even use it. WOW? (oh by the way, thank youu vann :D ) mm, i just hope that, all bad things happen on the same day so none of this will ever happen again. it's just so !@#$%
my mom was like rushing for her yoga class, so she brought me there. -.- and left me alone to eat at the cafeteria. but it was quite good actually, i like spending time alone. :) haha i know im weird, but it really feels good sometimes. so i ate and read the gossip magazines there, and like before i finish my food and reading the mags, my mom was down already? haha see, time flies when you're alone. :D
aiight i'm just so glad i have no paper tomorrow. good luck to those taking geography ! yall can do it! lovemuch. :)

each and every ending's always written in the stars,
if only i could stop the world,
i'd make this last.

Baby, if you ain't got no balls, you ain't got nothing.

2006-08-20T21:40:00.000+08:00

hellooooo, today was a delirously happy day. (althought the morning was extremely infuriating.)
i had tuition in the morning. and i was already in an irritable mood due to the lack of sleep, this stupid cab driver had to make it worse by mocking at our chinese? we got confused with left and right in chinese, so this old man thinks that he's so apt at the language, he started lecturing us and all that shit, like wth? and for HIS information, we( gwen and i ) actually scored distinction for mother tongue, so i don't see the problem of making that miniscule mistake in our conversation. he should just get a life, i was competely appalled at his fucking attitude. and perhaps arrogance? yikes, what a way to start a beautiful sunday morning.
anyways, tuition was very demoralising, i think my brain cells are depleting, i just suck at MCQ. hate it, hate it, hate it !
mm, met up with ana, mabel and chye after tuition. we headed to city hall for a fleeting lunch/teabreak before going to CHIJMES for the exam mass.
the mass was very very thought provoking and the Father was coolshit, haha. :) i think i'm really gonna miss IJ a hell lot after this year. afterall, i feel so emotionally attached to IJ. i mean who wouldn't, after ten years of education there?
alright, after mass, we walked to Marina Square for dinner. dined at Carl's Junior ! the burger was huge and i can't believe i managed to finish it plus the fries and the drink. okay, it was a very satisfactory meal and also sinful. guess how many pounds we'll put on after that? consider the fact that we're leading a very low-activity life currently due to the upcoming prelims, tsk. oh, what a way to console myself, haha.
anyhow, walked around the mall while digesting our food. i feel so deprived of shopping now, i need to buy alot of things, ahhhh. okay, after prelims, after prelims ! i'm gonna shop till the sky drops, of course, study too (eww) hahaha.
aiight, this weekend has been unproductive, let's hope next week will be better ! till then, toodles !

I could feel it go down.
bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth.
oh and I,
I wish that I could work it out.

when I know I'm fine, I'm not used to fine.

2006-08-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so apprehensive about tomorrow. I don't know why, it's probably cos I'm so ill-prepared for oral. and the fact that oral is actually the stepping stone to the coveted distinction. OMG. can you feel the immense pressure I'm feeling now? because I really do not want to screw this up. I HAVE TO score a distinction. OMG. God bless me, PLEASEEEEE.

if i lay here,
if I just lay here,
would you lie with me and just forget the world?

wish I could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of You and Me.

2006-08-08T23:08:00.001+08:00

today is a very bad day cos i'm having an extremely bad sore throat, i can hardly talk. :(
anyways, went town after the celebration with gwen and michelle. we had lunch at kobayashi, and got excited talking about prom so we went around looking for prom stuff after lunch. sadly, none of us found anything suitable. michelle left shortly after, while gwen and i continued walking around aimlessly, i realise it's been awhile since we last went town together, see how fast time flies, prelims is in a few weeks time.
anyhow, being the usual pigs, we decided to try out the food at cine's Hongkong cafe. I had this green tea honey frink to soothe my throat (but apparently it didn't help) while gwen had ice milo dinosaur and we had egg tarts. ana joined us there and we all shared this ice mango shave dessert. it was so good, the ice cream was exceptionally delicious but ana had to drop it on the table so we only got to savour like a few minscule spoons of it. and when we were about to finish the dessert, gwen found this gross veggie in it? and like we tried to complain, but it didn't work. oh damn that place. thank God my stomach was alright.
we walked around after that and mabel joined us at paragon. went back to cine and met up with shanna, chye, izza etc. bumped into grace and alph there, they were on their way to play dota and i heard it as datona, hahaha !
mabel and i went down to get bubble tea and sat at the foodcourt there. calli, shona and their friend joined us and we had a pretty long chat there. afterwhich mabel and i left, cos i wanted to go home and rest my throat while mabel went ahead with her fireworks plan.
i reached home and watched High School Musical on Disney's (again) and went googoogaga bout Zac Efron hoho. :) oh and bev told me that gwen and i were on channel 5? hahaha. oh boyy, i hope no one watched that show.

the things you said, I can never forget.
the things you did,
filled my heart with regrets.

I'll keep you locked in my head until we meet again.

2006-08-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

ehhhh i've survived two days of not coming online, what a great great great accomplishment, haha.
anyways, night study sessions the past two days were pretty okay i gues. the first day was quite productive, but the second day was a lil slack, probably cos we were all drained out from pe (and ballet). and today is rest day cos there's singapore idol tonight HEH. :) tomorrow's gonna be real busy, gotta do work and revision plus study for amath test ! i must must must pass this time. (crosses fingers) :/

ohh, but before i go off, everyone, PLEASE VOTE FOR JONATHAN LEONG, thank youu. :)
(Jonathan's voice is the sex ! )
heh, toodles then !

when someone said,
"count your blessings now, before they're long gone".
i guess i just didn't know how.
i was all wrong.
they knew better,
still you said forever, and ever,
who knew?

the night breezes seem to whisper, "I Love You".

2006-07-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

i just realise that prelims are in approximately three weeks time?! and hello? i haven even started on my revision yet ! ohh boyy, ohh boyy.
mm anyhow, went to town after school with gwen, yuling, ana and michelle yesterday. we had lunch at pastamania in cine. the service there was wayy bad, they mixed up our orders, so in the end we waited for like more than half an hour before the food arrives. tskk.
michelle left after lunch, so yuling, gwen and i walked around town looking for stuff. added alot of things on my "want" list, tskkk. haha. well, went home at around eight plus.
i went to collectmy x-ray this afternoon. turns out my knee's fine, so i guess i'll stop going for therapy, heh. i absolutely hate it, the doctor's super naggy !
mm, went home to change and then headed to novena church. met charm and gwen there. the service was good, very very spiritual. (: after that, ana joined us and we went to mos in tp to have a drink. listened to our ipods there and had an exchange-of-songs session, haha.
my mom was being an ass, by refusing to pick me up for dinner, so i had to go for mass with the peeps. well, it was aright, nothing wrong being pious eh? haha.
we went for dinner after mass at some coffeshop. had western food which took goddamn long to come and had us moaning due to hunger. the ice lemon tea there was served in this really pretty plastic cup, and i like it alot.
went home after dinner. and did tuiton homework while chatting online. i know i'm efficient, HAHA.
night studying's officially starting on monday, so, byebye internet.

so lately, i've been wondering,
who will be there to take my place?
when i'm gone,
you'll need love to light the shadows on your face.

I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright.

2006-07-23T01:29:00.000+08:00

the past week had been pretty hectic, and this week's gonna be worse. i'm gonna be so dead, there's tuition tomorrow and i haven done my homework yet. TSK. and i doubt i have the time to complete my schoolwork by monday ! OH NO. okayy anyways, a quick sum up of the week.

It was racial harmony on friday ! only a handful of us dressed up...

we were cam-whoring during English class, cos Ms Yip was absent, hehh. i think the relief teacher caught us a couple of times but she just couldn't be bothered to take futher disciplinary action HAH.
we all went home after school. got changed and headed to town to prepare for yuling's surprise. met michelle, mabel and chye first. walked around before settling down in yoshi. ana and grace joined us shortly after. haha, ana was being nice by walking all the wayy to taka to collect the cake and walked back to cine to meet us. awwww. haha, but when she opens her mouth, all positive thoughts of her disappeared.

ana: the cake is damn ugly !

hmm, get what i mean? HAHA. anyways, we went up to galilee friends and lighted the candles near the toilet. then we walked out and sang "Happy Birthday". haha, yuling was shocked. :) so i guess she was kinda surprised ! hoho. so yeahh we all ate the cake there. eunice, mabel and i were so in love with the bottom layer of the cheesecake, we kept separating the top from the bottom for most of the slices. but we felt bad not eating the top, so we ended up eating ALOT of cheesecake haha. and i really felt very fat after that. :( ahaha, we walked to centrepoint and drank at the macs there before going home.
yeap, so once again, HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, YULING AND SAM ! :)

and today, i woke up late and ended up late for my appointment. mm, it was okayy, except that i've gotta go for an X-ray sometime this week. and i'm gonna get another mc, so Teo Peng Suan can forget bout making me run 2.4 on tuesday. :) i couldn't make it in time for church, and thus didn't manage to pass charm the seventeen magazine. sorry aiight ! :( pass it to you on monday or something. and yes, i will remember to, this time. haha.
went back home to change after the therapy session before meeting joyce in town for early dinner at sake sushi ! it has been quite awhile since i last ate there, udon was goood ! we went to get gummies and drinks after eating before heading to Fort Canning Park for Ballet Under The Stars. joyce and i each got a t-shirt there, it is really nice. we felt so stupid standing in the middle of the greeeen field contemplating when is the best time to take out our pathetic towels and embarrassingly lay it on the grass. so we took it out when the NDP's jets flew past and made so much noise that it attracted everyone's attention.
we cam-whored while waiting for the performance to start. hoho. i really enjoyed the dances put up by them tonight. it was so fantabulous and it made me realise how much i love ballet. i'll kill just to be able to dance like them, i swear.

now, you've gotta agree that they looked absolutely perfect for each other !

and this is my favourite choreography !

mm, used a bus to town after that. we had a drink at starbucks before heading home. it was so hilarious, we almost got locked in wisma hahaha. and Indochine was VERY tempting. loud music and flashing lights. what more could have appeared on your mind? hahaha.

alrights, it's pretty late now, so i'll hit the bed, goodnight peeps. :)

you, doing that thing you do.
breaking my heart into a million pieces, like you always do.
and you, don't mean to be cruel.
you never even knew bout the heartache,
that i've been going through.

2006-07-17T21:52:00.000+08:00

Derek, Ailin and Ravinder's birthday party @ The Pines

now i know your not a fairytale, and dreams were meant for sleeping. and wishes on a star just don't come true. cause now even i can tell that i confused my feelings with the truth. cause i liked the view, when there was me and you.

tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you don't wanna play.

2006-07-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

and i thought that i'll be sleeping early tonight. but no ! the lack of sleep is killing me each day, tsk. and yes it's my own fault for not being able to resist the temptation of going online. :( oh goshh.
anyways, school killed me today. or at least, pe did. i don't understand why they have to come up with that NEW stupid rule for pft? like, is there a need to do so? i mean, they just looove torturing us, and watching us suffer, oh, sadistic creatures, EEW? thank God for friends, they so totally made me feel better ! :) omgg, i love everyone whom i talked this matter to. thankk youuu. <3
aiight, besides that, everything was pretty alright. oh, we got to write comments about our oral examiner hohoho ! but i didn't write anything though ahha, yeahh i know i'm nice. (: haha !
i wanna watch so many movies. but i doubt i have the time to. ): prelims are just around the corner, and i haven start my revision yet, how great. seriously, i should really stop coming online already. i must find a way to do so, pronto !
oh and everyone, please stop stop stop criticising Cristiano Ronaldo already ! (frowns) show some empathy please ! haha, but whatever it is, I STILL LOVE HIM. (: HOHO.

how i wish i could take us back in time,
but it's gone too far now we can't rewind.
and there's nothing that i can do to stop me from losing you.
i can't make you change your mind.

it's like you were floating, while i was falling

2006-07-10T22:05:00.000+08:00

oh yayy, italy won worldcup. i'm just so glad it wasn't france haha. and they should stop criticising Cristiano already. i mean, it's so not his fault, and like Rooney himself didn't make a huge fuss over the stupid matter, so why should all these nosey people? it's like none of their business. i'm so sick of hearing, the crowd was jeering at ronaldo, blahblahblah. like, get a life?
anyways, school was alright today except that i'm being piled by overdued assignments, tsk. i'm so tired of all these work and revision. i don't know how im gonna survive through this ordeal? okayy whatever. i'm just being whiny and irritating i know.

i swore i knew the melody that i heard you singing
and when you smiled you made me feel like i could sing along.
but then you went and changed the words
now my heart is empty
i'm only left with used-to-be's once upon a song.

you could have left sincerely yours.

2006-07-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

i totally screwed up chinese oral today OMG. the examiners were so fierce and intimidating. okay, at least one of them was. he was practically debating with me. and i was like on the verge or peeing in my pants already, yet he was there trying to make me go all speechless. i mean like, i have never had such a loooong oral session before. oh God, i'm bound to do really badly this time. he so wanted me down, and i guess he succeeded. cos i was left dumbfounded towards the end, i just couldn't find anything else to retort. so much for Os. AHH.
anyways, i just hope (crosses fingers) that English will not turn out like that. cos i cannot afford to screw english up. all these oral shit just made me more paranoid and worried bout everything else. :(
mm, i don't know why i'm online now, when i haven complete Amath holiday assignments hoho. ohwells.
i'm still contemplating on whether i should catch tonight's match. i mean it's Portugal yo ! and that means, Cristiano Ronaldo ! (screams) ahahha, and probably this is the last chance i can watch him play for this season, which i so certainly do not hope so, cos i want Portugal to win the Worldcup. :DD yayy. but late day tomorrow seems to be stopping be from watching the match. oh, i just cannot decide for myself.

I Love Cristiano Ronaldo. <3

oh, how i miss holding hands and playing games.
and i get chills when i hear your name.
cos i know that,
it'll never be the same again.

somebody wants your love, maybe open the door.

2006-07-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

oh myy. haven blogged for a looong looong time. anyways, the past week has been pretty hectic, back to school, and stuff. it's sad to say that i've yet to settle down on work, and right now, i won't say i'm in a playing mood, but maybe more of emotional distress. okayy, that was a strong word, but whatever.
mm, but then again, this week has been pretty productive afterall. i've caught two movies over the weekends woohoo. superman and just my luck. i totally love the latter, it's just so my type of movie. the former, however, was a total waste of three hours. there was no storyline, i was quite disappointed actually cos i was very much looking forward to catch that movie.
oh yes. the viking ride outside cine is really fun. everyone should go try it. : DD it took my mind off everything. probably the screamings helped alot too. such an awesome ride. :)
i really hope tomorrow never comes.

i took for granted, all the times
that i though would last somehow.
i hear the laughter, i taste the tears,
but i can't get near you now.

I'm guilty.

2006-06-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

school was absolutely crazy yesterday. we were told to complete six frigging essays?! and so last night, everyone went mad just rushing out the essays due today ! hoho, i guess we can all be considered super efficient. seriously, 6 essays in 2 hours? definitely insane.
anyways, i was being super briliant by forgetting to bring my essays to school. thank God she was in a good mood, so i didn't get screwed, heh. :D
i think my sleeping hours are screwed up. all those late night partyings during the hols just turned my body system upside down ! i need alot more time to get used to going to school eeeaaaarrrly in the morning again. -frowns-
anyways, ballet sucked today. oh god, there's something wrong with my toesssss. :( im so depressed. oh, forget bout it.
school stinks, i've been trying to keep myself awake during lesson, but to no avail. :(
this better stop soon.

trying to catch your eye,
things will never look the same.
now i can't deny;
you're the moth and i'm the flame.
there i go again,
i should walk before i run.
how can i explain?
i can't stop what you've begun.

2006-06-24T01:46:00.000+08:00

today's a unproductive day once again. no work done ! wow. :(
haha anyways, headed to town with mabel today. we checked out the crazy mango sale. omg the place was so hectic, i absolutely hate it. :( i was so in love with this silky gold clubbing top. but i decided not to get it anyways cos i'm not not not gonna club anytime soon. haha. i want to stop actually. :O haha did i say what i just said?
anyways, we pigged out hell loads today. cos we're both sad, and depressed and annoyed and fucked up HAHA. we had ice cream and the shilin fried chicken ! yumm. :) it was so gooood, just eating and ranting and talking bout stuff. i love mabel ! :D and i miss youu gwen. :( hope everythings alright at home aiight? the bitches' gotta catch up soon ! <3
okayy, anyways i'm pretty shagged now, so goodnight world.

for some reason,
i just can't get over us.
and i'm stronger than this.

keep it that way.

2006-06-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

i think i'm so dead. i've got a dozen of holiday assignments to complete ! :(
like piles and piles of stupid, boring essays arrgh and eight frigging journal entries ! and i've got only three days left. : O oh shit, i will never ever make it, i swear.
looking at the rate i'm going, i don't even think i'll be able to write one shit essay out. i can't seem to concentrate, fuck.

what a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
what a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
what a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,
i don't want to fall in love,
With You.

everything's in black and white.

2006-06-21T16:09:00.000+08:00

i feel like such a pigg nowadays, goshh. i eat and sleep and wake up and eat again. which freak does that seriously? but it's okay, last night was my/our last clubbing night(yayy?).
yesterday was really really screwed up. grace couldn't make in at the eleventh hour, when we were already below her block. so we just changed at the public toilet there HAHA and brought out huge bags to Club Momo. but it was really different without grace's prescence, and we missed her so goddamn much. you see that, grace? haha. our clubbing mates reunion FAILED once again. guess we've gotta wait till December now, boohoo. :( but anyways, you know we love you grace ! :D
aiight, gwen, mabel and i were really really high when we reached there. we took loads of retarded shots and did really stupid stuff which you seriously will not want to know HAHA. but mabel and i failed to take the perfect bitchy-look shot dammit. next time, perhaps? haha.
we met joyce and ying inside the club and germaine was ultra ultra late yo ! we all kept going in and out of the club cos it was majorly boring and like we couldn't find the damn washroom haha. but in the end we found it and it rocks ! the seats were like glittery gold hoho, and there were huge cushion seats inside the toilet. we had fun just sitting there and laughing at each other.
ying and joyce left really early. we stayed throughout the whole party with connie, shanna, nat, wayne and a few others. the dancefloor was packed and boring, although the music wasn't bad at all. guess we just weren't in the right mood.
we got really fed up and bored so we left the club and headed to 7 eleven to get drinks. awesome, but the quantity was too little and the effect weren't very strong. in short, we didn't get very high. :( haha, bad night, bad night.
apparently there was a fight going on, but we missed it so we just went back into the club. left at around four plus? and went to supper with mabel, gwen, shanna, nat, sean and wayne.
we went to nat and shanna's place after that and spent the night there. it was pretty fun there, but i got knocked out once i hit the bed so i wasn't sure of what happened ON the bed after i slept. but apparently there were some earthquake and raping going on HOHO. ;) hahha yeahh and shanna took off my bra without me knowing when i was sleeping. seriously, she's damn pro, and annoying HAHA. i'll always remember her biting me twice on my shoulder, AAH. hurts like mad. but anyhow, thank youu nat and shanna for the night. :)

whatever happened to the chemistry we had that night. it's either we've lost it or we've been hiding it. of course, there's still no regrets, but only disappointment. i don't hope for the better anymore cos everything's over already. let's just look forward, baby.

you were everything, everything that i wanted.
we were meant to be, supposed to be,
but we lost it.

on and on, you get me wrong.

2006-06-19T19:27:00.000+08:00

today was pretty slack, woke up at around 3pm with my bitches. :)
yesterday's party at Zouk sucked to the core. bad music, small crowd, depressing ambience. what more could you expect? there's just something wrong with everyone yesterday. and i wonder what happened.
heart-to-heart talk with the bitches before falling asleep. awesome. :) now we've all finally understood how love can turn into hate. but of course, at the end of the day, we'll always be there for each other, no matter what yes? I LOVE MY BITCHES. <3>
tomorrow's gonna be hell loads of fun with the clubbing mates. :) finally, the day has come for us to reunite ! we've all been longing for this day since god knows when ! so tomorrow shall br OUR day, and no one's gonna ruin it. we'll totally stick with each other and have our own fun. seriously, what could be better than the girlfriends' companionship? :D

now i know what a fool i've been.
but if you kissed me now,
i know you'd fool me again.

get it poppin !

2006-06-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

gwen's the stupidest bitch i swear. she mixed herself a screwdriver this afternoon and got knocked out and made me wait for her for ONE AND A HALF HOURS. who the hell in the right mind will drink in broad daylight ! HAHAHA. OMG, i think i love you too much to get pissed off. :) now, aren't you a lucky biatch? heh.
anyways, sat in yoshinoya with gwen and ana while waiting for mabel and chye to arrive. met them in kobayashi after that. they went tanning and mabel still looked the same as before while chye appeared to be a lil tanner HAHA.
mm, walked around after that. we wanted to watch x-men (yesyes we're frigging slow) but the timings were screwed so we ended up walking from cine to lido and back to cine again with no movie tickets. hahaha.
sat down in mos where gwen had her dinner and ana left to meet her godbrother. the three of us had our scandalous talk there. we made self-confessions and found out all the dirrrtyy lil secrets yo ! haha, it's okayy bitches, we're all in this together. :)
anyhow i felt so much better after the short awsome session in mos. i just love them so so much. thanks for everything. <3
mm, we cam-whored with the laptop in topshop haha. it was oh-so-fun ! all the different effects. damn, i want one mac too. :(
i left after that while mabel and gwen stayed on waiting for mabel's ahem ahem. haha, i hoped everything went well, bitch ! i can't wait to hear the bedtime story. :D
sigh, it's Snow today ! what am i doing at home? everyone must be partying hard at butterfactory right now. boohoo. :(

your eyes of passion make me crazy,
your existence makes me wild.
i want to loosen up your feelings,
see what's hiding inside.

as long as you love me.

2006-06-10T22:09:00.001+08:00

today was an awesome day with the JBMY ! :)
we went to suntec city for grocery shopping heh.

toilet mm !

michelle and i had our ice cream ! baileys and crunchymania, mm. its 94% fat free, so no worries (yeah right).
we accompanied yuling and bev for lunch at carls junior. the burgers there are like gigantic please haha. they were really bloated after the meal.
anyways we headed straight to carrefour to get the bakery stuff after that.

ready? get set, GO !

we contemplated for awhile before deciding to bake cookies and brownies ! heh.

since we're baking brownies, we thought we could add ice cream to it.
brownie + ice cream = mudpie ! :D
haha, so yeah we went to the ice cream section.

BEN AND JERRY'S !

yes, no one can resist ben and jerry's ice cream !

or rather, CORNETTOS ! :)

ooh, after fooling around, we got mango juice cos yuling was craving for the nata de coco ! haha. mm, after that we went up to get bev's stuff for church.
i went to get royce chocolates for my dad first before chilling at starbucks heh. i finally tried the banana caramel frappe, it was so goooood ! yumm. we cam-whored there cos the sofas were simply too perfect for cam-whoring heh.

then, we realised time was running out, so we rushed back to my place to bake.
it was a mess at first cos we were figuring out what we need and we sort of freaked out when we realised my house ran out of some ingredients haha. but all was cool, and we successfully baked the cookie and brownie ! kudos to the JBMY. :)

mix first !

high tech, baby !

after stiring !

ooh lala !

YAYY !

it's the brownie's turn now !

whoa.

before and after !

mochi !

want some ? :)

cheers !

our half-melted rum and rasin ice cream which bev absolutely detests ! haha.

now we know, bev really hates alcohol haha. we basically pigged out the entire day today. oh mann, imagine the amount of calories we'll put on ! :( okay, i dare not think about it. haha.

PERFECTO. <3

alrights, i shall go sleep soon. shopping with my dear charmaine yeo EARLY tomorrow ! haha, goodnight world. :)

Tell me why I can't be there where you are? There's something missing in my heart.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GWEN :)

2006-06-09T23:30:00.000+08:00

i hope you had a smashing sixteen today. :D our surprise was quite successful to being with ! heh. i love you ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT. :)
i'm lazy to blog about the earlier details, so i shall go straight to the suprise part.
mm, vann, chye and myself left town first to meet up with bev and mabel at gwen's house to prepare for the suprise. :D
we lited sixteen tea-candles on her room step. then, mabel did the heart-shaped candles thingy with the cactus in the middle ! aww, how sweet. next, we played the song, "greatest story ever told" on the computer. initially, we were having trouble with the speaker, thank God gwen's sister saved the day, haha. oh mann, she's really adorable.
anyways, mabel hid in another room with the strawberry-heart-shaped-cake while the rest of us hid behind her bed in her room, hahaha, with the lights out, candles lit, and song playing ! the ambience was simply undescribable. :)
then, gwen and yuling came into the room heh. shortly followed by mabel and the cake ! i guess gwen was pretty shocked and loss for words HAHA.
oh and we placed her presents on her bed. pictures up soon !
we sat down and had a long talk before heading home mm. right now im pretty shagged, so i shall go sleep soon mm. :)
once again, happy sweet sixteen, bitch. you know i love you. :):):)
ooh, i can't wait for tomorrow, cake-baking with the JBMYS! <3>

every little thing that you have said and done,
feels like it's deep within me.

Let's keep it moving;

2006-06-08T20:17:00.000+08:00

Kosher last night was one of the most stimulating parties we've attended this year, wait, actually it is the one and only stimulating party this year. the other parties were either all over-crowded or screwed-up. thats why we've become fans of small parties instead of big parties now. now thats what i call, smart. :)
anyways. gwen and i met germaine and the dancers in town first. connie and mabel came later mm. then we walked around and stuff before parting with mabel and the dancers. so germaine, gwen, connie and i cabbed down to butterfactory to meet up with grace and clio.
initially, we thought the party was gonna be very bad cos like there weren't even anyone on the dancefloor when we went in. but thank God the crowd came later and absolutely steamed up the dancefloor. :D
oh yes, thank you farley(and his reserved table) and nick for going through the trouble to get us in mm. no id checks. :)
we drank first before getting on the dance floor cos it was empty at first. the drinks were superb, i was craving for more though. :( haha. mm, after dancing for awhile, we went back to the table and got more drinks haha. but it still wasn't enough tsk.
anyhow, we went back onto the dancefloor. then there were this two ah-bengs. -.- haha so gross. yeahh but thankfully jonong and nick came to the rescue ! :) ahaha, they saved us a couple of times though throughout the party HAHA, it was that comical, really. we're grateful heh.
we danced till our feet hurt so we sat down outside the club. talked and talked and talked. all of us were really highh ! we kept hearing "fuck", so germaine, gwen and i decided to be more civilised and use, "f.u.c.k you, HAHAHA" instead ! HAHA. and the "HAHAH" was supposed to be really high-pitched, omg. we were really being retards last night.
anyways, my dear god-daughter had to leave early, so grace, clio and connie all left with her. gwen and i wanted to catch up but my feet hurt so much that i had to sit down instantly when i tried to walk. so we sat down for a while more, with nick and jonong keeping us entertained.
the four of us walked to macs to eat cos we (thought we) were hungry. but in the end, we ordered like four drinks only haha. then after much persuasion, they ordered fries and stuff. jonong was terribly trying to keep himself awake that poor thing, while nick forbided him to go home and sleep, tsk. haha. gwen and i left after nick's failed attempts to guess gwen's surname and cca (haha). we took a cab back to her house and gwen slept for awhile while i lied there doing nothing haha and waiting for breakfast time to arrive.
we had breakfast at the macs opposite her house before going to school for physics lesson. it was a complete waste of time cos i was practically dozing off during lesson, and so it was as if i didn't attend the lesson at all, tsk. haha.
oh, there's no pictures this time cos i forgot to charge my camera HAHAHA. okay okay, i promise i'll make it up for the next party ! :)
anyways, yesterday would have been perfect if my dear dear dear, MABEL LEE MAY went too ! we've missed you, bitch. nevermind, nevermind, we can always look forward to the next upcoming party. <3

i don't know what it is,
that makes me feel like this.
i don't know who you are,
but you must be some kind of superstar.
cos you got all eyes on you no matter where you are.
you just make me wanna play.

see that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen !

2006-06-04T15:42:00.000+08:00

hey yall ! dance night was fantabulous last night.
i met gwen, yuling, michelle and bev at taka and we had dinner at mos. the new rice burger was so delicious. yumm. heh. we were in the midst of chatting when suddenly this woman just started yelling and scolding people around her. it was so ridiculous and hilarious at the same time that i can't help but kept giggling to myself HAHA. anyways, we figured that she was mentally unstable cos she didn't really look normal. haha.
we got famous amos cookies for mabel, germaine and eunice before heading down to tp. gwen's father fetched us to UCC for the performance, thank youu uncle ! :)
we got really good seats, like just directly behind the thirty bucks seating area. grace and all sat like above us haha, it was really cool, their seats. but somehow, just right before the performance was beginning, some ah beng from the second level spat down, and it directly landed on my hand OMFG, i was so grossed out. i couldn't leave for the washroom cos the performance was staring really soon, so i had to clean it with a tissue first. arrgh. anyways i rushed to the toilet immediately during the intermission.
ohyes, the dancers danced really well last night ! the jazz ballet item was really cool. and the teacher's item was really a surprise. mister jiow was goddamn hot, everyone was pratically yelling each time he did his thang, woohoo ! mabel, germaine, chye and all were sizzling hot and sexy ! we'd totally enjoyed all the items put up by them. :)
sadly, the time was too short, dance night was over in just a blink of an eye. we waited for really long outside for the dancers. gave them their cookies before going for supper.
ahaha, the bus ride to supper was really funny. we went in sucha big group that we were shouting from one end of the bus to the other end just deciding on where to go for supper. first was town, then holland then kap then coronation then we finally settled down on serene centre. some people in the bus were kinda annoyed by us cos they had really bad facial expressions but there was nothing we could do either haha. we didn't mean to shout, we just had to HAHA.
yes then some of them wanted to eat at the adam's food centre initially, but it was really filthy and all so we left for macs at serene. sat there for awhile before eunice's dad picked us up and sent us to braddell mrt station. thank you eunice and her daddy ! :)
i took the last train home and mom picked me up from novena. mm, lalaland after that !
mm, had tuition this morning and now im back. shall go upload pictures soon. tata.

you're a teaser, you turn 'em on.
leave them burning and then you're gone.

Oh baby, when you talk like that.

2006-05-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

i can't believe i've actually survived the dreaded Chinese O's this morning. Oh God, the paper was so long, it totally drained me out. and i'm so re-taking it at the end of the year because i freaking screwed my compo up. rahh.
alright, drop the depressing shit. went home to get changed and then headed to town to meet gwen and michelle. we had lunch at Kobayashi. yumm. i was starving during the paper and had to wait till mid afternoon before i could satisfy my tummy. how awful.
anyways, we walked around town and waited for mabel at far east for VERY long. Haha. we got bored of waiting, so we walked to Tangs to get our lovely sugarcane juice and sat outside Lido, how unglam haha. then dear mabel finally called and we went to meet her at far east again. then michelle left to meet her other half and the three of us roamed around. mabel got her pointys. then we walked all the way back to cine to find our waterproof eyeliner and my red nail polish, but to no avail. boohoo. we finally settled down at Graffiti's to have a drink and wanton mee. i left shortly and had mommy picked me up from Specialist's.
mm, as i was saying, tomorrow is D-Day. hurrhurr. there is the collection of report book and the ~~long anticipated~~ Vaunt @ MOS. i'm so not prepared for the BOTH of them. somehow, i just lost that urge to club. maybe this is a sign. of being a nerd, YAYY.
aiight, goodnight world. i shall immerse myself in slumberland and hope that tomorrow will never come. yayy, i love being in self-denial. laterr.

now i'm just waiting,
cos i heard that this feeling won't last that long.

cos everytime we touch, i feel the static.

2006-05-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

so yesterday we had our polling day holiday.
went to town early in the morning to meet the bitches, supposedly to watch The Da Vinci Code. but i was a little late, so we went to eat pepper lunch at PS first before heading back to The Cathay for the movie.
we were rather excited for the movie, and thought we would (finally) get to watch the desired movie. that explains why we were really surprised when we got stopped at the ticket booth and the lady demanded for our ICs. i know we're already sixteen and so it is not an illicit thing to be watching a NC16 movie, but we happened to have misplaced our ez-link cards and like no one really carry their ICs around with them nowadays. and thus this is the most pissing-off part. cos we're of legal age and we got denied entry just because we failed to produce the required documents to prove our age? this is seriously dumb. and so i heard all the cinemas are carrying out the checking of IDs thingy all because of the article recently. i swear adults are just trying to ruin our lifes, just cos they had their share of fun, so now they're trying to prevent us from having ours. oh, please get a life. i don't see what benefits they get from doing this.
uh huh, so we just roamed around the streets yesterday, while mabel went for dance practice.
then, ana joined us for a short while and we had a drink at mos. i feel like killing her cos she took my totally unglam photo from my phone (which i didn't even realise i have it). ahh, so now she can actually blackmail me or something haha.
i left for ballet after awhile and left poor gwen on her own for one hour. sorry my dear ! ): mm, ballet was good though. i totally love the plies this year. melissa should really regret for quiting.
after ballet, gwen and i went for dinner at kobayashi, which we failed to see our coveted eyecandies haha. sad case.
bumped into charmaine on the road to heeren, and she kinda jumped when i called her, guess i was a lil too loud. haha. anyways, went home shortly after.i still can't believe i actually spent my time last night doing my two chinese essays dued today ahaha. i'm kinda proud of myself. yayy. but i'm still not prepared for the O's this monday though.
okayy, i think i've typed quite a lengthy entry and i'm tired already so i shall stop here. i've nothing to say about today just that the school kinda stinks of vomit cos of the paint i think. it is so pungent that i felt like fainting whenever i walked past the walk way. i really do hope the smell will fade by tomorrow.
oh, chemistry was really emo today. mrs tay's childhood/student's story was really heart-rending. the amount of effort and hard work she put in her schoolwork last time was simply unimaginable. anyway her main point was to tell us to persevere and not give up. i guess she succeeded cos her story left a deep impression on me. but to really do it is not a simple task indeed. mm.
there is ACJC talk tomorrow. i can't wait.! :)

but even if i made a vow,
i promise not to miss you now
and try to hide the truth inside.
i fell cause i,
i just can't live a lie.

say it isn't so.

2006-05-19T23:09:00.000+08:00

my oh my. this week cannot get any better with the checking of the horrendously well-done papers. hurr. i don't know what this means actually. is this suppose to demoralise us or is this suppose to be a wake-up call? but anyhow, this sure serves as BOTH a wake up call and a BIG blow to my morale, for me.
i've deemed to be unforgivable for failing that one particular subject, which i will not mention which one, because i am so extremely embarrassed and mortified by that fact. of course, i've been so perturbed by this that it is perpetually on my mind day and night, night and day, and i simply cannot get over this because i have this ominous feeling that i'm not gonna make any improvement from now till the prelims and then, the O's. (or at least i'm scared, really, really scared)
this has never ever happened to me before, and i really don't know how to deal with it. i mean there's seriously no way how one can fail this subject and i don't know how on earth did i managed to fail it too. perhaps i was over-confident. perhaps. anyways i don't know what can i do now to help myself. SIGH.
"i'm a failure" - quotes charm. HAHA. yeahh i totally am mann. but she's not. :)
alright. drop the emo stuff already. had lunch with gwen, charm, michelle and yuling at our favourite pastamania after school. we all had calzone style pizza YAYY, except for michelle of course, who was too deprived of tabasco, that she just had to have it (ALOT of it) today. and we all know why, don't we? :)
talked alot and planned for the after-os-activites, which should act as some sort of motivation for us, haha. we'll be real busy then. heh.
we were supposedly about to go home, when gwen and i decided to just 'pop by' town, HAHA, since it was really early after lunch. :DD
and of course the usual can't-get-enough-of-town feeling, so we've planned to go back again tomorrow hahaha. oh mann.
aiight so i've been trying so hard to come online, and now when i'm finally well-connected to the darn internet, not a single soul is online. hurrhurr! they're all so gonna get it. haha. i guess this is when the phone comes in handy ! aha, alright, laterrr then.

i won't ask you to stay,
i'd rather walk away,
if your heart's not in it.

i must have believed a lie.

2006-05-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

damn blogger. i updated one whole long essay on yesterday, but i just couldn't seem to post it. so i deleted the entire thing. and i ain't gonna blog bout yesterday no more. but it was really an awesome day with the bitches. laughed hell loads. <3<3<3
anyways. today was bad. bad. really bad. we got back chem paper. boy, does it sucked. omg, i lost so many marks due to carelessness. imma scrutinize every single word during the prelims i swear. !@$$^#$@#$!@%^
yeahh tomorrow's gonna be really boring. like we're having intensive mother tongue for like three hours. :( yucks.
ohwells, life's like this after exams. then, we'll be back to mugging again. boohoo. :( and the cycle continues for the rest of the year. wow.

and over and over i've tried.
yet over and over you lied.
over and over i've cried,
yeah i don't know why.

these miss you nights are the longest.

2006-05-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

ooh, i'm feeling alot better now. thank youu everyone for everything aiight. <3
anyways, my bitches didn't managed to come over for a swim on thursday. we went to town instead. haha and by the way, i hate my new hair. i think it sucks. :( boohoo. it's so short, i can't have long hair for graduation night anymore ! :( ahhh, i'm depressed by that fact. but its okay, i shall hunt for new hairstyles to take over my initial plan. i hate changes, really.
i was just talking to a kindergarden friend just now. omg, i've missed those days so so much. it all seem so distant now. and i'm feeling really guilty for not being able to remember most of their names. and actually, the events that took place. all i have are just bits and pieces of some things. note, some, and not all. oh mann, my memory is really failing me. :( but i'm sad though, that we are all not in contact with each other anymore. it struck me on why we actually stopped talking when we were still in the same primary school. i guess we just never seem to treasure things that are infront of us, but only miss them when they're gone. alright so i shall take it as a lesson learnt: appreciate those around youu. yesyes i shall. :DD not only people, but things too. like MY HANDPHONE. :(
hurrhurr. i really miss my phone. oh baby, please come back.
alright, forget the emo stuff. mm, so tomorrow's a make-up date for thursday's. hopefully, the bitches can make it and we'll really get to swim and have fun. we've got plenty of catching-ups to do ! bitching and all ! heh. hopefully, bugis street shopping too. woohoo ! finally a phoneless and interesting day. ahahha.

lay down all thoughts of your surrender.
it's only me who's killing time.
lay down all dreams and feelings once remembered.
it's just the same this miss you game.

2006-05-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

i hate you two. i really do.
i didn't cry cos it hurts. i cried cos you fucking disappointed me. to think i even stupidly believed your empty words. i trusted you, but you let me down so bad. i won't ever trust you again. big fat liar.
and bastard, you are still no doubt a bastard, i don't regret calling you that even though i got myself into sucha deep shit. down right scum. i wish i could sue you, but i don't have the ability to.
then again, wait a few more years. you will never guess what i'll do TO YOU. cos i'll always remember today and what you did to me. it has left a deep impression. you have done an unforgivable action, which i will carry with me for the rest of my life and which i will NEVER EVER forget and i will NEVER EVER love you again.
so you think violence can solve everything? so you think i'll stay at home for good for the rest of my life? you're so fucking wrong. the more you disapprove, the more i'll do it. even if it gets me killed, i'll still do it. you have no idea how much i hate you.

don't add on to my burden.

suga, why you get so flyy

2006-05-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

mid year exams officially ended today with the disastrous history paper. omg, i swear i'm gonna fail my humanities. can youu believe this? i wrote like three freaking lines for the first structured essay question. OMG. no more partying for me already ! (hahaha)
anyways, went home to change first before meeting the peeps in town. mm, everyone was like, one hour late HAHA.
but eunice and mabel were the latest, tskk. haha. we had lunch at pastamania then walked around a little before i went for ballet. ballet was good, although we did alot of jumpings.
then, i met them again after ballet. we went to galilee for a drink before catching Poseidon !
it is sucha great flick, everyone should go catch it now now now ! heh. yuling cried during the movie, emo kid ! hahaha. yeap, went home after the movie.
anyways, i'm still distraught by my performance during this morning's paper, so i'm gonna binge and spend and do all sorts of things hahaha. and i'm gonna be a nerd all the way till O's are over. yayy. and gwen and mabel MUST be in the same boat as me, cos they're my bitches YAYY. :) hahaha.
ooh lala, imma cut my fringe tomorrow, i can't wait. my fringe has been annoying me since before exams started cos it's so long and disgusting hahahha. imma chop it off tomorrow heh.
and my bitches are dropping by tomorrow for a swim. <3>

bleeding mascara. says:
she actually said *censored*
bleeding mascara. says:
like, shut up mann.
real or make-believe? says:
YEAHHH
real or make-believe? says:
she's the true blue bitch la
real or make-believe? says:
YES TOTALLY

yes mabel lee may, she grosses us out like wow ! hahaha.
I LOVE YOU BITCH. :) :) :)

i'll see ya and gwen tomorrow ! heh. ooh, we've gotta cam-whore too. <3<3<3

road to nowhere,
twist and turns.
but will this never end?

too long, too late.

2006-05-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

i swear i'm gonna fail Amath. i've never felt so insecure before. thank God this is only mid years. ahh, i'm really really really gonna start studying during the june holidays. all i can do now is sit and wait. i don't see any point in doing amath when i seem to have lost all my knowledge for that subject. :( booo.
everything's going wrong right now. i have a really bad sore throat(which makes me feel really weak and lethargic), and i just can't seem to get anything i study into my head. oh and i can't remember anything i've learnt. in simple words, my mind's just in a blank right now. the nap i took this afternoon didn't help at all. omg, what's wrong with me?

i thought i had it all worked out.
just what to say and what to do.
so why these fears and all these doubts?
just sitting in my room thinking it over,
and over and over again.

riders !

2006-05-06T23:37:00.001+08:00

heyy yall. this week had been fantastically good. :DD but this coming week's gonna be hell. looking at the rate we're going now, i think it'll be a miracle to pass the subjects this coming week. sighh. hahaha.
anyways, managed to scrape through all the papers so far. but thats not a good thing. excel is the word and result i want. i guess i can only strive for that during the prelims. oh mann, it better happen ! haha.
the studying sessions had been a total blast ! it's not the percentage of success (which is like below 50% haha) but the people youu study with. :) the joy and laughter each time we meet up !
yesterday was supposed to be studying day in town. so the three of us headed to town for lunch first and we planned to study after eating. but circumstances didn't allow. it was like pure les day yesterday. totally entertaining especially with this couple who tried so hard to get our attention. well, they succeeded. we were looking at them most of the time. seriously, the things they do quite amuse me. HAHA.
then, we proceeded the looking for a conducive spot to study, which was bullshit cos we ended up SHOPPING. haha. getting a wee bit excited each time we think about what to wear for the upcoming parties. it's a fashion parade, baby. :) yes, we're gonna take PLENTY of pictures this time round, promise.
roamed around the streets, with bubble teas (a MUST-HAVE !) and the little bitching conversations, inmitating people, getting HIGH and talking in HIGH-PITCHED voice, HAHAHA. what more could one ask for? such awesome companionship, where can one find !
i'm looking forward to the studying sessions now, and the after-exams activities ! it's gonna be hell loads of fun, wheeeee. and we can all go highhhh in town during late nights again ! :) heh. but first, it's hard core studying. aiight books, be my best friend for this weekend. HAHA.

with this shizzle of yours. says:
i can imagine her high pitched voice saying that
bleeding mascara. says:
we're cute talking in high pitched voice
bleeding mascara. says:
but she's like not
bleeding mascara. says:
she cannot make it please
with this shizzle of yours. says:
yes totally
with this shizzle of yours. says:
yesyes wow jea is becoming bitchy
with this shizzle of yours. says:
but i like it

why yes fated, great minds think alike. I LOVE YOUU. :):):)

sighh. tuition in the morning tomorrow again. ohwells.

i know that these feelings won't end.
they'll just get stronger if i see you again.

if i fall.

2006-05-03T20:39:00.000+08:00

hahaha, i just cannot survive without coming online. ): oh mann, this sucks.
anyways, i totally screwed up ss today ! ): i spotted chapter four and memorised the whole chapter and like, chapter two came out. no chapter four at all ! shit, i suck at spotting ! hahahhaa. it'll be a miracle if i pass ss this time. hoho.
and emath wasn't very well done either. i took my own sweet time and didn't have time to check through. thank God i was able to complete it in time heh.
ohwells. whats done cannot be undone ! two down, five more to go before the coveted chocolate buffet ! woohoo ! :DD

i know i could easily fall.
so i'd rather live with the chance that i'll miss,
than end up with nothing at all.

you're my wonderwall.

2006-05-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

i'm totally shagged now. it's like past midnight omg, i wanna sleep. woke up so frigging early for tuition today. hurrhurr. had breakfast at yoshinoya hehhhhh. :D
clio's such a klutz, she took home my fys unknowingly hahahha. and i thought i left it at mrs lee's house haha. ohwells. i'm not the blur one. :) :) :)
anyways. went to town with gwen. had lunch and stuff. did accounts homework. yayy, one less thing to do now. but didn't study. :( we couldn't really find a condusive place to, tsk. so we went home.
my cousins came over today. talked and stuff. then they went back home in the evening. so i went for dinner with my mom at marina heh. had my milkshake ! :D i'm satisfied. haha, my brother's so cute, he carried my shopping bag for me cos i complained that i was freezing. he carried it all the way back home, hahahha. aww. so i was like, muacks. then he was like, ew, then he ran away. HAHA. wth. okay nevermind, i'll forgive him since he was so nice today hahaha. :)
lalala, hard core studying tomorrow. oh mann, no matter what, i have to. i hope gwen finished her three chapters of geography today already. she had better ! hurrhurr hahahha. alright, no more coming online till mm, next week.
ahh, i swear i'm gonna die. :(

do something!
why don't you do something?

rewind ;

2006-04-28T21:18:00.000+08:00

school was extremely slack today. it's either going through papers, talking through lessons or sleeping. haha, slowwww and boring. but i'm glad it's friday already. hooray. this week went by real slow. ehhh.
anyways, totally skipped chem lesson after school. cos we realised she's gonna go through the redundant topics, so we decided to give it a miss. hurr. i feel really bad, cos we cancelled tuition for chem lesson, and screwed up mrs lee's schedule. shit. she's not gonna know this. no no no. hahaha. well, she better not.
yeap, so lunched with mabel and gwen at long john's. bumped into savina there. then we sat there and talked for some time before heading up to macs to study. it was a really futile attempt cos macs was crowded with all sorts of peeps from different schools. hurr, too bad i didn't see that eyecandy of mine. :( danggggg. hahaha.
ohwells. fried mars bar tomorrow ! i can't wait. heh. :DD

Searching for answers,
but they're all so hard to find.

thanks :DD

2006-04-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

sweet sixteen was very sweet indeed. :) :) :)
thank youu everyone who made today a very fabulous day;
guanyu, charmaine, emyy, lings, michelle, beverly, gwen, vanesa, mabel, eunicechye, clio, ana, noelle, char, charlene, nick and many more who wished me, thank youu so much for remembering. <3<3<3>
oh yes, thanks for the birthday song in the morning. heh. :DD
thank you jbmys for the sweetest present ever. the musical box is really pretty with all those awesome stuff inside. fond memories with yall, each time i open the box, a feeling of security will just strike me, because i know no matter what, yall will always be there with me. :) :) :) thank you for everything my loves. i'm really thankful i've got the three of yall with me ! i love yall ! <3<3<3
thank you charm for the lovely cookies and gift and the card ! ahaha, the card was rather touching. we've been through so much. the emo stuff, the ups and downs. i'm really glad we got through the drifting period. i'll be here if you need anyone, always remmeber that. :) LOVE YA. <3<3<3
thank you char and noelle for the cookies and card ! <3<3<3
thank you gwen, eunice, mabel, vann, guanyu, jbmys for the lovely surprise hahha. i was really surprised. :DD thanks for the tiramisu with ice cream ! heh. <3<3<3
and of course, thank you bestie for being the bestest best friend in the world. check this out : http://happybirthdaybestie-.blogspot.com
hahaha, thank youu for everything. <3<3<3
thank you emyy for finding ways and means just to wish me a "happy birthday" cos you're so far away right now. don't worry bout not being here and all, cos it feels like you're right next to me, heh. i love youu. <3<3<3
and last but not least, thank youu nick, for spending the day with me. :) :) :)

thanks everyone, it's really the bestest sixteenth birthday anyone can ever wish for.
i'll always remember today. :) :) :)

ice-cream turns us on. :DD

2006-04-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

mm, english paper today was pretty alright i guess. i really hope i'll pass it though. the past compre exercises we've done were rather demoralising. :( sniffs.
anyways, omg, we decided to give chem lesson a miss at the eleventh hour hahaha. so we went for breakfast at macs ! mm, it was a really filling meal. i was so bloated. hot cakes hot cakes hot cakes :DD heh. then we sat there and talked for pretty long. haha it was fun. :) :)
mm, then yus and guanyu joined us and we all headed to ec after that. got bubble tea and stuff then gwen and i went for tuition.
eheh, met mabel and guanyu at united square after tuition heh. we went to get ben and jerry's ice cream ! :DD haha it was free cone day today, pretty awesome. there were so many people there, and we had to join the long long queue. but it was worth it heh. ooh, saw nicole ! :DD mann, i missed her. hopefully, we'll have a rgym reunion soon yes. sighh.
anyways, had dinner at pastamania after the ice cream. after which we talked again. haha, yesyes, hardcore studying soon. :) :) it will be a successful one. we ARE starting this weekend okayy. we better. hahaha.
yeap, headed home after that.

two hours more ! :) :) :)

tell me why,
ain't nothing but a heartache.
tell me why,
ain't nothing but a mistake.
tell me why,
i never wanna hear you say
i want it that way.

2006-04-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

the night goes on and on, it seems like it's forever.
wish we were home instead of how it's turning out.
there's something you cannot explain, the one thing that gets in the way. don't say the things you said. can't you see that way, i made a mistake? you've become a stranger to me now. you kept it all inside, instead of letting it come out.
there's something you cannot escape, there's one thing you can never fake.
yeah, it's gone too far this time. yeah, you let it slip away. yeah, we've gone too far this time. things will never be the same.

2006-04-21T23:19:00.000+08:00

back me down from backing up. hold your breath now it's stacking up.
etched with marks, but i can deal. and you're the problem and you can't feel.
try this on, straitjacket feeling, so maybe i won't be alone. take back now, my life you're stealing.
yesterday was hell. but today i'm fine without you. run away this time without you. and all i ever thought you'd be, that face is tearing holes in me. but today i'm fine without you. run away this time without you. and all the things you put me through, i'm holding on, by letting go of you.
and when that memory slips away, there'll be a better view from here. and only lonesome you remain. and just the thought of you, i fear. it falls away.

yeah right.

anticipation.

2006-04-20T20:30:00.000+08:00

today started out real bad. sighh. last night was a major communication breakdown. whyy do this have to happen to me? whyy whyy whyy. sighh. i don't know how to deal now. hurr.
ohwells. anyways. had english oral today. it was so retarded. i actually had to resort to borrowing blouse from guanyu cos i forgot to bring mine to change haha. everyone was like saying it's prelims and all, and they'll minus marks if you are not in your full uniform. omg hahahha. okayyyy yes so thank you guanyu. <333>
ahhh this weekend's gonna be real sad. sighh. i mean what can you do when you're grounded? sniffs. yeah totally, like cryyy. hahahaha. ): i don't want the weekends to come. i don't want next week to come.

how much longer will it take to cure this?
just to cure it cause i can't ignore it.
makes me wanna turn around and face me
but i don't know nothing bout it.

2006-04-18T20:20:00.000+08:00

And everytime it feels like we're gonna make it,
that's when it falls apart.

why, haven been updating these few days heh. basically, it's just tests, tests, and more tests. oh how interesting my life is. hurrhurr. haha.
omg, orals soon, i'm so scared please. my picture discussion sucks like hell. bleahh. ahahhaa.
ooh, anyways, i've got chocolates ! yayyyy. finally, i can indulge in them. mmm. (:
ahaha, anyways, i can't wait till exams are over. omg, we're going drinking to celebrate yes ! it's been eons since i last drank. oh god, i can feel the urge to. hahahhah. (:
okayy and before all that can take place. i must start studying first. ): oh mann, how i loathe that word. ohwells. i guess it's a part and parcel of everyone's life. mm, i shall look forward to the studying dates then, heh.
ohoh emy ! if you're reading this, i miss you so so so so so so much ! hahahha yayy you're coming back soon ! omg, i can't wait to see you again ! ILOVEYOU. (:

I'll be broken
And I know it.
But I just can't seem to find another way.

come what may.

2006-04-13T21:58:00.000+08:00

blogging's getting boring nowadays, hurrhurr. anyways, this week was rather emo ahahha.
i'm sorry for making yall so worried the past few days aiight. i'm fine, really really. :) it's just mood swings sometimes. anyways thank everyone who cared. : DD i really appreciate it. <333
and tan yuling ! :) i swear she's the sweetest thing on Earth. haha, she wrote me this super sweet letter. it really made my day. thankk youu. :D i'll reply to it okay? heh heh, I LOVE YOUU. :)))
alrights. took my re-test today. omg. i hate herr. she's like so annoying. !@#$% i shall not elaborate haha. mm, amath test was so screwed today. omg, i can't believe i made that stupid mistake. ahhhh. aiight nevermind. tuition was goood todayy. drankk myy icy soya milk after tution, heh. and i got my gummies too. so, jeaa's a happy girl, heh. :)
ooh, something exciting happened at popular. *ahem. gwen's like so goddamn hot. woots ! hahaha.
"um, um. can i have your number please?"
aww, how sweeet. hahaha. ooh lala, my fated is hotstuff. ;)
haha. anyhow. sighh, 2.4 is this saturday ! how demoralising. i hate to run 2.4, i really do. sighh. but ohwells, i shall look forward to ice-cream after that ! :DD hehhh.

I've got this feeling you're not gonna stay
It's burning within me.
The fear of losing,
of slipping away.
It keeps getting closer.

so far away.

2006-04-08T18:14:00.000+08:00

sighh. i think i suckk mann. whyy do i always want the impossible? ): omg, can someone please please please talk some sense into me. hurrhurr.
anyways. band concert was good. haha. i'm feeling so bad for going late. myy dear pms freak, forgive me aiight? :) i got you your YELLOW roses and your YELLOW letter. :) heh. please tell me you're satisfied with that.
ohh noo, i've been having ice-cream for like four days this week. mann, thats so bad. i can feel the cellulite forming already hahaha. aiyaa whatever la. and i'm like grounded, omg. i hate myy mom. SHH. okayy i thinkk she knows anyways HAHA.
i'm so so so tired todayy. but i still dragged myself to history class this morning. hehh. got our pullover like finally ! it's so nicee, i like it. :)
mm, went for breakfast with the peeps after that. mann, i was like starving ahaha. went town after that. i swear we walked alot alot alot.
then, had like ice cream ! yayy. while the rest had fried mars bar. mmhmm. and we got bubble tea after that hah. it was the nicest bubble tea everr, the pearls were so soft and chewyy. haha. thankk youu laaa eunice. :)
ohh. gwenn suckks you know that? hahahha. she forgot which floor i'm staying on. :( thats like damn sad. i'm like so so so disappointed in you gwen ! tskk. HAHA. but i don't know whyy i still love you, you know. idiot. :) hah.
anyhow. i'm at home noww. i can't sleep, cos i haven done any workk yet. sighh.
ohh and. no eyecandies today. :( it's been soo longg. where're you, i'd miss you so ! hahaha. ohh mann.

cos we're playing a game called,
L.O.V.E

not your superwoman.

2006-04-06T18:25:00.000+08:00

now you say the juice is sour, it used to be so sweet, and i can't help but to wonder if you're talking about me.
we don't talk the way we used to talk, it's hurting so deep, i've got my pride, i will not cry, but it's making me weak.
i'm not your superwoman. i'm not the kind of girl that you can let down, and think that everything is okay. boy, i am only human. this girl needs more than occasional hugs as a token of love from you to me.
you like to think that i'm just crazy when i say that you've changed, i'm convinced i know the problem, you don't love me the same. you're just going through the motions and you're not being fair, i've got my pride, i will not cry. still i can't help but care.
if you feel it in your heart and you understand me, stop right where you are. i'm the kind of girl that can treat you so sweet, but you've got to realize that you've got to be sweeter to me.
i need love. i need just your love.

tell me that it's over.

2006-04-05T18:09:00.000+08:00

mabel and gwen taught me something new today, hahahha. :D so, thanks? ahaha, those two retarded peeps whom i love. :)
we had sucha great time talking today. heh heh. so much for studying ! but anyways, we didn't have a single book with us haha.
ahh, guilt strucks again. ): i ponned training today once again, sigh, this is so bad. you know, actually i have no wish to quit school team, hurrhurr. but under certain circumstances, i guess this is the best decision i've come to. i hope i won't regret it too much though.
something exciting happened yesterday while i was studying for ss. heh heh. :D but then again, after hearing gwen's comments about it, i realised it wasn't something to be happy about anyways. ): sighh. my plan did not work, is not woking and will not work ! ohmann. i've gotta come up with something wicked soon. aha, i just can't wait laaaaaa. like, who can ever resist hotstuff? (;

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

were those just words.

2006-04-04T19:35:00.000+08:00

it was totally not my day today. i don't know why the sudden depression and lethargy just struck me throughout the whole of school today. hurrhurr. i just didn't have any energy to talk, joke, laugh or do anything. and no, it is not pmsing, nor is it mood swings. i guess it's just that again. ): boohoo.
so i decided to give ballet a miss today, and i went shopping with my mom. mann, that felt better. especially after a scoop of ice cream. the world seems to lit up after that. ._. but i guess, we still have to snap back to reality. and so darkness falls again. there are so many things on my mind. the disastrous ss test tomorrow, homework and heaps of other ~~emo~~ stuff. sometimes, i just wish i could leave this world.

If only you could see these tears I'm crying,
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating.

estatic. :D

2006-04-03T19:25:00.000+08:00

she's such a bitch. omfg. i swear i'll kill her one day. hurrhurr. learn when to shut up please?
anyways, oh mann, i failed pull ups again. whats new ! haha. i just hate going for re-test. cos i'm just gonna fail again, such a waste of time tsk.
ahaha, i got really highh after accounts test today. :D heh heh. i dreamt of junyang and him ! ._. heeee. oh by the way, i'm still jealous at the fact that, that teresa girl got to hold junyang's hand for soooo frigging looong yesterday !! i was just this close to smashing the tv screen HAHA. ohwells. oh yes, as i was saying, i had sucha wonderful dream, it was so saddening when i had to wake up cos cos, thats like the end of my fantasies. ): haha. i know those two peeps that i dreamt about is a total weird combination, but who cares. i just likeeeeee THEM. (: heh heh. if only dreams come true right ! then, i'll probably be the happiest girl on Earth. : D
mann, i think i just put on ten pounds. ): i know i always say that, but hey it's like true. you don't know how much i've been eating these few days. sighh. so much for being depressed hahaha. mann, i think my appetite is returning again, oh nooooo. please just go away. i wanna lose weight. hurrhurr. hahahha.
alrights, lets see. imma do my homework and then study for ss test. i heard theres quite a lot to study for. ): God bless me. ahaahahha. then after that, i'll be off to lala land to meet THEM ! yayy (((: hahahhahaha. haha i'm sucha deprived kid hurrhurr. :x

on my way down.

2006-03-29T19:45:00.000+08:00

just when i thought things are gonna get better, it just got worst.
chem test killed me today. i'm not gonna complain or rant or whatsoever, cos i only have myself to blame. thats for not even opening my book last night and went straight to bed. i've learnt my lesson. i really have. i really need to buck up and start studying. the mid years are nearing, and there are so many chapters to study for. seriously, i should stop procrastinating already. books, here i come. (sad case)
anyways. oh mann. i'm feeling so guilty now. ): can you believe it? i skipped training to go for lunch, hurrhurr. but i was really tired during school today. then again, i slept like so frigging early last night. what is this please? arrgh, must be all those pms-es yesterday. sometimes, it just sucks to be a girl.
but anyhow. i've enjoyed lunch today. talked so so much. (: it'd be really cool if we could always have such conversations yeah, heh heh.
mm, sports day tomorrow. hurrhurr.

been far away for far too long.

thats why.

2006-03-28T19:35:00.000+08:00

~~aha, i'm finally updating hurrhurr. and of all days, today, when there's a frigging chem test tomorrow. i really hate chem now. sighh.~~
there's just so many thoughts going on in my mind, that makes me feel so drained out of energy. each time i think about them, i have different answers to the same question. i have no idea why such uncertainty occurs, but i really hate this feeling. i mean, it's just a small problem to begin with, but i have to give so much thought about it, that now it just kinda blows up. and this so sucks, cos i seem to have lose all my logical sense.
i'm so depressed right now that i just feel like dying. i try so hard to put on a mask in school, to hide my depression and to control my emotions from dashing out. it feels good to be in control, but however, it still doesn't make me any happier. no one will be able to understand how i really feel deep down inside. so i don't bother to tell anyone this, cos i know they'll probably just think i'm insane and hopeless. hurrhurr. should i just let time prove everything? but each second is tickling like an hour. each day is passing like a year. i just hate waiting so much.

Don't leave me in doubt.

2006-03-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

There's something 'bout how you stay on my mind
There's something 'bout the way that,
I whisper your name when I'm asleep, oh boyy.
Maybe it's the look you get in your eyes
Oh, baby, it's the way that
It makes me feel to see you smile
And the reasons, they may change
But what I'm feeling stays the same.

those words hit so hard.

2006-03-24T21:01:00.001+08:00

those words finally came out of my mouth today, but her reaction wasn't what i expected. she was more than shocked to hear my words. so now she's holding back the submission of the name list and re-considering her choice. this is supposed to be good news for me, hurrhurr, i want it bad, but somehow it's sucha sneaky and scheming way too. she wants to decide between * and I. but the thing is * doesn't even know a thing. * and I are ~~good~~ friends, why do this to us? you have no idea how bad i felt at that split second when she told me her plans. *'s gonna hate me if there's any changes. i don't want that, really. she probably wants this more that i do. hurrhurr. well, i've tried suggesting just letting me go and stuff, but hell i can't deny the fact that i want this too? one part of me wants this, yet the other doesn't.
is it individual desires or is it friendship.
oh, fuck. i don't know. it's not up to me to decide anymore.
but fuck, i feel like sucha bitch. if not for my stupid answer to her questions, she might not have decide to do this. if i could be just more magnanimous, would i be feeling so fucked up right now?
omg, this is so bitchy, i hate this.

where are you, when i need you now?

2006-03-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

i think it's gonna stop soon.

your soul is shining through.

2006-03-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

chemistry is killing me i swear. don't even know whats going on in class. and theres like a test coming up next week. -stabs- God bless me?
anyways, did cip in school today. mm, cos of the worlds down syndrome day thingy. there were like so many peeps from other school that came to our school just for the buddy walk thingy. aha, i attract immature peeps. ): nuff said.
anyways, was in a group with joyce and shert. hoho, i guess the walk was pretty alright. these two guys at the pond there were effing hilarious i swear hahaha. we do need entertainment on the way.
mm, went back to school and ate and ate and ate. haha neh, just like drank milo and ate biscuits. and the mash potato thingy. and left school at round 7 plus.
had dinner with joyce at sake ! heh heh. then went home soon after.
sigh ! my craving for chocolates is not satisfied yet. and i don't think it will be anytime soon. i'm like so busy with don't know what HAHA. ohwells. sniff. theres training tomorrow. ):

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no.

2006-03-20T21:22:00.000+08:00

i don't even know your name
I don't even know your age
But there's something about you boy
When I see you wining in front the stage
Please forgive me, please excuse me
But there's nothing else that I can do
I cannot pass or think
I just need to be next to you

damn, you're fine.

2006-03-19T21:11:00.000+08:00

indochine was screwed last night. there were id checks and stuff. so most of us couldn't get in haha. mm, then they changed to party to moloko. joyce and i went to check dxo out first though. but it was really empty so we cabbed to moloko with mia(??). aha, he's one funny guy. mm, walked quite a distance cos the cab driver dropped us off at some roadside hurrhurr. bumped into shona and peeps at liquid bar. they were queuing up, it was like fullhouse heh. so we joined the rest of them at moloko. however, they changed the venue again. so this time we had to walk all the way to phunkbar omg. it was like damn far please. mobile party, hurrhurr.
anyways, phunkbar was pretty alright, except that it was kinda small. mm, went in and out a few times cos someone tipped us off that the police were coming HAHA. then finally the last time, there were like four police cars, so everyone just ran in different directions hahhaa. joyce and i went to seven eleven to hide heh. then, left with anthony, jonong, nick to macs. walked again ! mm, saw jiazhi, celeste they all there. jiazhi was like damn drunk hahhaa, so adorable !
then we sat there for while before cabbing home.
mm, had tuition this morning. i was so tired please. went for lunch in town after that heh. shopped a lil, and did our compre. how efficient right hahaha.
ohwells, then went home.
there's school tomorrow. hurrhurr. ):

Whats the point of saying this,
when you really mean that?

Romp at Zouk.

2006-03-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

yesterday night was a blast. :D
even though Zouk kinda sucked(it was effing crowded), but the people present totally made my day, hoho.
anyways, shall start with my morning. mm, had training. omg, coach was out to kill us, did like don't know how many jumps, i almost fainted please. but she was in a really good mood, and we found out that it was her birthday, hurrhurr. someone brought a cake over, so we sang song and ate the cake after training. felt so bad please, we didn't buy her anything, and we didn't even know it was her birthday. ): ohwells.
alright, shall skip the part after training. so got prepared and stuff in the evening. met gwen at novena and we went town to meet clio and ana. mm, had dinner at galilee. saw charmaine and dominic, heh heh. (; we had to frigging sit outside cos there was not enough seats inside, hurrhurr. shared sandwich and mango smoothie with my fated ! "why no mango tree?" -looks at gwen- HAHA. fated ah fated ! don't worry, i love you the same. (:
so we walked around, while waiting for eunice. then, after awhile, decided to meet chye at the entrance instead. so tried hailing a cab, but to no avail. the cabs were all either on call or taken. bumped into joyce and ying, so we were all trying to compete to get a cab first haha. we stood by the roadside for god knows how long. finally, this cab stopped for joyce and ying, and since ana and gwen were at the other end, clio and i hopped into the cab with them.
it turns out we were all getting tickets from the same person, heh heh, how cool is that. mm, yeah went to get tics and stuff and waited for ana and gwen. panicked cos they were taking forever to reach. panicked even more when they ended up at another place and couldn't get there. but ohwells, eventually they made it heh.
it really sucked, we actually had to have our ids checked. and i frigging lost my e-zlink card. luckily, vann lent me hers. thanks so much dear. <3
mm, so we queued at first. then when we finally cannot take it anymore, we went to cut the queue infront. omg, it was so crowded, we were like squeezing and squeezing, grross. mm, that person at the entrance was like scutinizing the card i handed him, i was so scared, i kept looking down, haha. luckily he let me in. phew. then ran into some trouble with ana's card, that smart aleck don't know tore which part away. but got through anyhow.
mm, some of us couldn't get into the vip lounge cos they ran out of the paper thingy. omg, sucks please. and the dance floor was like super crowded. we always got stuck while squeezing through. but ohwells, it wasn't that bad to get stuck right behind/next to shawn lee, is it? (; heh heh. i swear he's cute.
yeah, the details are still the same, we couldn't really move on the dancefloor cos everyone was squeezing and stuff. man, i think they over-sold the tickets.
lalaed till like 3 plus. my heels were killing me ! i'm never wearing such high heels to club anymore. haha.
mm, then cab to my house with chye and gwen. they stayed over. we were all so tired, fell alseep when the lights went out. heh.
overslept this morning, so didn't go for training. oops. i feel so guilty now. ): anyways, went to united square and had brunch with gwen while chye went back to school for cheer. after brunch, went malaysia with mom.
mm, came home at round ten. sheesh, i don't know the plan for tomorrow. that ass must be having fun at mos now, haha. ohwells !

i like you the way you are

because of you.

2006-03-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

everything has gone down the drain down. i feel so hollow.
i've tried so hard to get your attention. even for one second, i'll be happy, cos at least i know you've looked at me, you've corrected me. but so what? you've never adknowledge my efforts. you always have the perception that i'm not trying hard enough. you never change. be it the way you think or the words you say. its always the same. you never see how hard i'm trying just to please you. you've decided to cast me as the reserve cos you think i don't take gym seriously and all that crap hurr. you complained that i'm not concentrating and all those bullshit. don't you realise whenever it's our turn, its always at the end of the day? don't you realise by the time you look at us, it's always after four tedious hours of training already? we cannot sit down or stop training during those four hours. how do you think we felt? we are always drained out and tired. and so you say, we're just indifferent and not being serious at all.
look at the way you teach us and the way you teach the rest. you said we're slow learners and that i'm always the slowest. you said i'm the slowest simply because i'm being too lazy and playful and i don't even care, so why should you. but in fact, you are the one thats doing everything so frigging fast and you're always taking my apparatus to demostrate. how do you think i'll be able to learn it on the spot. i'm not a genius alright.
so whats the use of trying so hard when i know in the end, you don't even care at all. but i always hope and pray that one day, you might just reverse all this, one day, you might just concentrate on us. i was too naive. hell, was i totally wrong about you. you've completely disappointed me. and perhaps i, have too. you know, it's okay to always blame me for being too complacent. i've heard it for the past one year. so now i'm telling you, i quit alright. it's not that im totally pissed off cos i'm not the main one competing. it's just that i've had enough of you. i can't go on anymore.
it's because of you, that i hate gym now. thanks so much, for teaching me to hate you.

goodbye, bitch.

euphoria.

2006-03-09T22:09:00.000+08:00

jeaa's a happy girl since last night. heh. (: don't ask why. heh.
anyways, today was overall fantasic (excluding her, who spoilt my entire mood pfft). school was alright, i'm enjoying english lessons haha. and and, went to town after school with my fated today.
mm, we were like really unlucky. ): bumped into some mediacorp peeps who forced us to help them in their show thingy. that guy kept pulling me until my arm hurts haha. yeah so we had to help them. like, be prepared to watch us on tv hahahha. how embarrassing omg. my hair was like in ultra mess. ):
anyways, we went to get tics for final destination after that. then to eat the wanton mee thingy at the graffiti place in heeren. it was pretty alright, not exceptionally delicious though. ohoh got gummies after that yayy.
the movie was like kinda gruesome. omg, never ever go tanning please. you might just get like burnt to death. haha, white is very very good. (:
mm, walked around town after that. shop shop shop. we're coming up with a wishlist soon ! haha. talked alot today. (: about almost everything. heh heh. it's our dirty little secret yes gwen? (;
you know, now i really can't wait for the romp party. it's gonna be heaps of fun. the shopping part is getting me all excited already. heh heh. :D
anyhow, i'm determined to be a nerd now. everyone's starting to freak out after all the disastrous tests. i'm feeling the presure. ahahha, i wanna start studying too, and i'm going to. after the march holidays haha. i will ohkay i will. (:
but right now, i just wanna play. (((:

i don't know what it is,
that makes me feel like this.
i don't know who you are
but you must be some kind of superstar.

dirty little secret.

2006-03-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

i must must must start learning not to give in to temptations. ):
had a very sinful lunch with my scandalous one today ahahha. we ate pasta mania again. we should really be like vips of pastamania please. we're always dining there. i had baked rice (finally). satisfied my cravings. mmm, i totally enjoyed lunch today. thank you michelle. (: the talks we had were simply great. shared so many things, both of us had no clue about eact other. mmhmm, our dirty little secrets. (; just between the both of us yes ! thank you for everything, i love my scandalous one so much !
anyways, went for ballet after that. we did character today. hurrhurr, how boring. i prefer classical. ohwells. after ballet, got my mom to fetch me from novena heh.
ohkay, i'm going to bathe now. laterrrrrr.

Remeber us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.

can't you feel my heart beat fast

2006-03-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

i feel like i just put on 5 pounds. ):
anyways, school was pretty alright today. aha, chemistry was fun, we all went sky highh.
oh, failed my ss. i hate ss please. ewwww. mm, chinese was alright. did compo and stuff. she is like so annoying, i can't stand her. she just has a effing problem with me, arrgh.
anyways, had accounts test. i don't know how well i fared, everyone has like different answers. ohwells.
physics practical after school was super short. afterwhich we had lunch at pastamania. took really long to decide on what to eat. whats new right, haha. had a good laugh there, then went to popular and the ntuc to get stuff. and then we went home.
ayyyyye, should i go for ballet tomorrow? hurrhurr.

cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I'd reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat slow.
I can't let you go.
I want you in my life.

far away.

2006-03-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

alohaaa. today was an enjoyable day. (:
woke up late today, therefore was late in meeting the peeps for project work. anyhow, went to get the frame for bev. called michelle out so that we could slot the photo in first. then called clio, and asked her to bring bev to the toilet so that we could go back in and prepare the presents.
#surprise number 1
placed the frame and clutch bag on the table nicely heh. it was rather successful(although ana came in halfway and they kinda bumped into gwen when they went to the toilet), cos bev was indeed surprised. yayy.

love this, it's so sweet. (:

jbmys. <3

yupp, then we had lunch and stuff.
#surprise number 2
gwen and mabel came in halfway during lunch with the famous amos cookie. ahha, bev was surprised again ! yayyy. we expertise in surprising people. haha. :D

happy sweet 16 bev ! (:

anyways, after lunch, went to take neoprints ! it was pretty nice, love it . we must must take the kissy one next time. hah.
mm, after that, headed to town. it was impulsive shopping day today. i almost got the clutch bad from far east, but didn't bring enough cash. haha. but still, bought like earrings and stuff.
aha, the jbmys bought the mint box thingy each. mine says, flirt. -_- (so not true). michelle's says, hottie. (so not true either HAHA) bev's says, lush, and ling's says, high maintainance. mm, the boxes are really pretty.
we tried visiting the cute guy at his shop, but sadly he wasn't there today. such an unfruitful day today ! we didn't manage to see any eyecandies. ): ohwells.
walked around town and then to kobayashi for late lunch/early dinner. then some of them went for mass and stuff, and i went back home.
waited for dad, and headed for dinner at S pizza. the pizza was gooood. and tequila was gooood too. (: heh, but rather unsatisfying. it was far too little. ohwells, i can't wait for the march hols, i can drink all i want then.
ohkay, gotta go do accounts homework soon, boy this sucks. ohwells, laterr then.
This time, this place.
Misused, mistakes.
Too long, too late.
Who was I to make you wait

don't give up on me.

2006-03-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BEV !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARMMYKINS !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMYY !
LOVE YALL TRUCKLOADS <333

that was quite a number of birthday ladies haha. anyways, omg the long anticipated weekend has finally arrived. this week had been so super busy.
oh i totally screwed up chem and amath test today. i'm like so disappointed in myself, btw i failed emath test. like wtf. the frigging report book better not be return to us before the march holidays, if not my party plans will be goneeee. ):
mm, training sucked big time today. i've had enough of coach's biasedness. give me a break. i mean like, she only spent 15 fucking minutes on us out of 4 fucking hours. like, wtf? and whats her fucking reason, she claimed we were talking and not practising. so she was like, if that happens again, i'm not gonna teach yall. whatever man.
she so dampened my mood today. urrgh.
lalala, i can't wait for tomorrow though. its gonna be a blast. (: i just know it.

beautiful stranger.

2006-03-01T21:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Charlene ! (:

ahh, i miss diary-x so much please. ): i hope it'll come back again.
anyways, school was slack today, i totally love wednesdays. mmm, and training was kinda alright. but she's like so biased. yeah whats new. she kept concentrating on someone. she didn't really look at the rest of us. hurrhurr. but whatever, a few more months to go only.
mrs tan kept asking me if i want to take part in competition this year. ahh, i really don't know. how oh how. i like ribbon, and thats like the only apparatus out of four that i like haha. aiya if only we could choose only one to do ! ohwells. ohkay this sucks, cos i really have no clue bout what to do.
the gymnasium was playing westlife songs today. oh how sweet. i love their songs(:

Other boys will come along,
they always do.
But what's the point when
all I ever want is you.